Early Riser

Here it is, 8:00am, and I've been awake since about 5:15-5:30am.  I've taken my shot, had my rice cakes with peanut butter and jelly for breakfast, taken my pills, read a little bit from my new current book, changed the litter in the litter box, and find that I've already had a somewhat productive morning.

Corri spent the night at Jason's last night, so no morning meditations today, and that makes me feel as if I'm missing something really important to begin my day.  Even though I haven't done the meditations with her, I did read from my Women of Faith daily devotional that just came in the mail, so at least I feel like I've done something today toward strengthening my faith and giving it a little uplifting boost.  Still, I miss the morning meditations and the devotions I'm doing with Corri as part of those meditations.  I could do that part alone, but I'd rather do them with her.

As I was driving Corri to Jason's last night, I came right out and asked her, "I know this is none of my business, but are you sleeping with Jason again?"  Her response was a horrified look and, "Oh God, no!  He wanted to the other night and I told him no.  We don't have that kind of relationship and right now, I just want to work on myself without any entanglements." 

Praise the Lord for that!  Jason has some really bad habits, aside from his being a major pothead.  The guy is 35 years old and he acts like he's still in high school.  Corri has told him repeatedly that she doesn't want a relationship with him, but he doesn't know how to just be her friend.  He tries to control her, and I hate that, almost as much as Corri does.  I'm glad my sister is now strong enough to know when she's had enough and not let anyone control or push her around anymore.

Frankly, I don't think she should be friends with the guy, considering all his tendencies with her, but I can understand her giving people another chance.  As long as he doesn't do anything to tempt her out of her recovery, then I guess I'm okay with it.  NOT that it's even my call or decision to make.  It's totally hers.  She is an adult and she needs to be the one to cut ties, all on her own, if he doesn't respect her enough to keep the alcohol and pot away from her, and if he doesn't stop trying to control her or act like she's his girlfriend or something.

I finally got my books from Amazon the other day.  Once I finish the current devotional that Corri and I have been reading every morning, the Sisterchicks Take Flight devotional, I've got another one to use for 90 days.  It's called God Chicks.  I have never thought of myself as a chick, but apparently, I am one.

I've also got my "A Woman After God's Own Heart" books.  One is the actual book, another is the study guide companion, and the third is a workbook.  Apparently there is a DVD set because this can be offered as a seminar, and the workbook goes with the DVDs.  I know I told Al that I wouldn't spend anymore money, but I'm fairly certain I'm going to buy those DVDs, not just because I have the workbook, but because as I was looking through the books and the workbook, I was thinking this might be a way for me to get back into teaching at church again.  If I can work the workbook and learn my way through offering this seminar, perhaps I can convince the powers that be at the parish to let me run a seminar for them.  They don't usually turn down volunteers so I can't imagine that they'd say no, but it's something to think about.  I have to look at the program myself first, however, to make sure that it is sound before I put myself out on the limb.

Al and I are going to our first Al-Anon meeting today.  I'm kind of looking forward to it.  I don't know how much we're going to get out of it, but it's nice to know that we've got the resource in case we need it.  Corri is having Jason take her to the plasma donation center and drop her off about an hour before our meeting.  Since the process takes about two hours to complete, by the time we are done with our meeting, we'll be able to go pick her up and bring her back home.  That's much more convenient than having to drive all the way out to Jason's to get her.  Foamy is already down to half a tank of gas and I'm going to have to fill him up again because it's going to snow all weekend.

I'm planning to go to Reconciliation tonight.  I really need to go.  It's been weeks since I've been to church and I have a lot of things I need to reconcile with God.  I know a lot of people don't get the whole idea of "reconciliation" or "confession" with a priest, but here's the thing.  In other Christian faiths, when people sin, they go to their pastor, not so much to "confess" as it is to talk things over with the pastor and get put on the right path once again.  The pastor reminds them that God loves them and forgives them their sins when they repent of them and try to change their ways.  The Psalms tell us that you must "confess from the lips," which means you must confess your sins out loud to God, not just do it in your head.

In the Catholic Church, we go to our priest the same way other Christians go to their pastor.  We aren't confessing our sins to him, we're confessing them to God.  The priest is just listening and giving us good counsel, the same way another Christian pastor would.  When we receive absolution from our sins, it's not the priest who is absolving us.  It's God who is forgiving us.  He's the only one who can.  Our priest is there to remind us that God forgives us and loves us and that we are absolved of our sins, much in the same way a pastor would tell another Christian the same thing.  We just have a sacramental ritual for what other faiths do.  I really don't see what the issue is or why people complain about "I don't see why I need to go to a third party to talk to God."  You don't.  You can talk to God directly.  God is the one who forgives.  But isn't it nice to discuss your areas of weakness to temptation with someone who understands them and who can give good counsel on how to avoid them?  Isn't it nice to be reminded of the fact that God loves you AND absolves you from your sins?  Of course it is.  Why make such a big deal about it?  I just don't get it.

Anyway, after Reconciliation, I might as well stay and go to Mass.  I'm hoping that Corri and Al will at least go with me to church, even if they aren't going to avail themselves of the sacrament of Reconciliation.  I'm guessing that Corri may go, or Al, but if I get both, I'll be pleasantly surprised.

Other than that, not much else to report for the day, but if something major comes up, I'm sure I'll be back with plenty to say.

A vegetarian friend of mine went to a party and was handed a plate filled with wonderful appetizers.  He selected one, took a bite, and then - to everyone's surprise - he threw the remainder across the room with all his might.  He stood with a stunned and bewildered look on his face.  The appetizer had been filled with meat, and his immediate reaction was to throw it as far away as possible.  I thnk of that whenever I am tempted to grab something to eat that I shouldn't have.  In my mind, I have to throw it far away, acting like it issomething terrible, so I won't give in to the temptation.

Today's thought:  I will put far away anything that tempts me this day!