I Had Too Much to Dream Last Night

I must've been really exhausted yesterday, and I'm not exactly sure why that would be.

Got up fairly early yesterday and went to my dental appointment.  I don't really like this dentist very much.  He's not a personable man.  He's never shook my hand or introduced himself to me or anything, not in either time I've been there.  I guess beggars can't be choosers and since I'm getting my dental work done for free, I technically qualify as a beggar.

The visit wasn't anything big, just a teeth cleaning, but I have to say, my gums have be receeding steadily and I guess they've dropped low enough now that having the dentist cleaning my teeth with the metal scraper just about sent me through the roof on each and every tooth he touched.  Add to that the whirring noise that sounds like a drill and I was on edge the whole time.  Next time I go for a cleaning, I'm taking a tranquilizer first.  I was ready to jump out of that chair and bolt for the door right from the get-go, but I sat there and took it, and now, although sensitive, my teeth are nice and clean.  Not so much on the white side anymore, but still nice and clean.  I can feel the difference.  Makes me go mmmm.

I have to go back for another visit on February 1 to have impressions of my mouth made, so I can be fitted for a device to wear at night so I stop grinding my teeth.  Apparently all that grinding has already caused some bone loss, so I need to stop it before it gets any worse.

From the dentist, we made a stop at Dunkin Donuts and picked up coffee and something for me to eat when we got home.  I love their bacon, egg and cheese croissants for breakfast, and their hot ham and cheese flatbread for lunch.  I had the former, even though it was nearly lunchtime.

We got home and I ate my brunch, as it were, and Al got his shower and got ready for work.  I finished my reading and diary entry for the day, and shortly after Al left, Iaid down on the couch to read and promptly fell asleep.  I wound up sleeping for nearly four hours.  When I woke, it was already time for me to close the blinds and turn on the lights because it was dark outside.  Talk about sleeping the day away, that's exactly what I did.

I stayed up after that, took my shot and got ready to make dinner, which, because it was Friday night, was just pizza, and I ate while listening to Criminal Minds in the background.  I think I saw the same episodes that had been playing in the morning before we left for the dentist.  I played around on the computer and talked a bit to Amy, but right around 10pm, I started getting really sleepy again.  I mean REALLY sleepy.  My eyes were no longer focusing correctly and I told Amy I was going to lay down and try to sleep.

I went to the couch and continued with the Criminal Minds marathon, but it couldn't have been more than five minutes later when I was out like a light.  Totally gone.  I didn't hear Al come home from work, and he even kissed me twice and said I didn't move a muscle.

I did wake up somewhere around 1:30-2:00am, and stayed up with Al until 4:00-4:30am.  Unbelievable.  I haven't slept that much in I don't know how long.  Even though the sleep was broken and coming in four-hour increments, that's a lot of sleep for me.  It always catches up to me eventually, and I guess yesterday was the day for it.

I got up again at 7:00am, stayed up for a little while, and then went back to sleep.  Next thing I knew, it was 10:00am, and I was surprised to have slept so little, but I dreamt a lot in that short time span.  Can't remember much of the dream, however, but it wasn't an important dream anyway.  I just remember one dream coming right after the other, so I guess I never made it back into deep slumber, and stayed in that dreamy twilight sleep phase for those last two hours.

When we finally did get up, we putzed for a little while, and I had to really stay on Al to get up and get him moving so I could go to the library and pick up my books, and then go to the NEX to buy cigarettes.  The library had two of the three books I ordered, which is better than nothing, I suppose.  One more to come.  The NEX didn't have Al's usual cigarettes, so he got regular menthols, which are stronger than what he smokes, but again, beggars can't be choosers.  I couldn't even buy him a couple of loose packs of what he smokes.  Probably a good thing he might be quitting if he gets this promotion.  He won't be able to take smoke breaks at work anyway.

He's coming down with a cold.  I've been telling him that all morning, because he's been sniffling and sneezing, and he kept pooh-poohing me about it.  He finally took out the trash and when he came back in he said, "You might be right.  I think I'm getting sick."  I've been plying him with orange juice and Ibuprofren ever since... and keeping my distance from him.  I don't want to get sick.

We were going to go to church tonight, but with him getting sick, it's best if we just stay home and not spread his germs around anymore than is necessary.  He's curled up on his loveseat, covered up with my Bears blanket, playing games on his Mac as I write this.  It's almost time to get him to down another glass of orange juice.  And I don't know why he insists on using my Bears blanket.  Now I'm going to have to wash it.  I bought him a Patriots blanket with sleeves, just like my Bears one, but he never uses it.

We're just going to stay home and watch football for the rest of the night.

So that's the 411 for today.  Not a lot to tell, really.  Just your basic fluffy entry.

Day 36.  Only four more to go until I've completed The Purpose Driven Life.

Today's chapter is all about how we were made for a mission.  We were made for ministry, which is our service to believers, but we were also made for a mission - to continue on the work Jesus began - which is our service to unbelievers.  Our mission is evangelism, or spreading the Good News of the Gospel to everyone.

Point to Ponder:  I was made for a mission.

Verse to Remember:  Matthew 28:19-20 - Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, until the very end of the age.

Question to Consider:  What fears have kept me from fulfilling the mission God made me to accomplish?  What keeps me from telling others the Good News?

I'll be honest.  I suck at evangelism.  I really do.  I think of evangelism and automatically my mind goes to televangelists, which are people I think of as mostly being pretty shady, or people who are evangelizing and begging for money, yet live in big fancy houses and drive nice cars and blah, blah, blah.  Some of them may be very sincere Christians, but the whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Not only that, I don't want anyone to ever call me what Al used to call me - a holy rolling Bible thumper.  I don't want to beat people over the head with my faith.  That's not the way to get through to them.  In actuality, there is no getting through to someone who has a heart closed to the Good News.  You can talk about Jesus, and forgiveness and salvation until you're blue in the face, but until they really want to open up and listen and actually HEAR what you're saying, words spoken are in vain.  That said, I'm much more subtle about it, and would rather let people see that I'm a Christian by the way I act and the way I love.

I fear having doors shut in my face, not that I would ever go door-to-door evangelizing, but I mean the proverbial doors, the ones to friends whom I love, who aren't believers.  I don't want them to think that all I'm ever going to do is talk about God things, because that's not the case.  That being said, I use my diary here as an evangelization tool, because I am not afraid to share my faith here.  I know there are many of my long time readers who will read every word I write, just as I do in their entries, but I also know there are readers who will choose to either skim over my faith writings, or not read them at all.

I'm not afraid to share my faith with others, at least not here.  In all honesty, I don't really think I'm afraid to share it anywhere.  I taught kids who would've rather been anywhere but in religion classes.  Some of them took to it, some of them didn't.  My job is to plant seeds.  It is up to the individual, God, and the Holy Spirit to water and grow them.  And that's all I do.

I truly wish that some of my unbelieving friends would open their hearts to the message of love and forgiveness and peace that is offered in Christ.  I wish they could know that there is something more to come after life on this earth is finished.  I believe it with all my heart and soul.  I know my soul will go on, even though I fear death.  It's the unknown that I fear, and what's going to be my eternity.  I want it to be with God, not eternally separated from him.  That's my only fear.

But I have hope, and that's something that a lot of my unbelieving friends do not have.  I have hope in something more and something better than this, because let's face it, if this is all there is, what WOULD be the point of caring about life?  What would be the point of anything?  I know we were made for more than this life.  I KNOW it with every ounce of my being and I want them to know it too.  But I can't force it.  I can only gently suggest, and leave the rest up to them and God.

My grandfather always said to me, "You plant your field; you have to harvest it."  We made ourselves overweight, and we either have to live with it or work to change it.  It is foolishness to overindulge, but that doesn't stop us from doing it.  Anyone who is overweight knows well that we have to pay for our foolishness.  True wisdom comes from God.  When we decide that enough is enough, that it is time to lose weight, we can know God will help us, especially through the toughest times.  All we nee do is ask.  God is looking for ways to help us, but He always waits until His help is invited.  Don't hesitate.  Call upon the Lord, and He will hear you.

Today's thought:  If we turn from our foolishness, God will bless us!

It is true that everytime I've asked for help from God, He has answered me.  Sometimes His answer is no, but not usually.  I know this is the section where I usually write about dieting and losing weight, or changing to a healthier lifestyle, but one example that just comes to mind, is Jett, my cat who died.

Whenever Jett would get sick and I would get upset, I would pray for God to either make him well, or let him just fall asleep and die when it was his time.  I never wanted Jett to suffer, but also, I would pray for God to just take him, and not have me have to make the decision to put him to sleep.  I made that decision once in my life with Fritz, and I never want to have to make that decision again.  I didn't want to make it for Jett, and I don't want to have to make it for Jericho.  I pray all the time that I don't.  I'd rather my cats just pass from old age or in their sleep then to ever have to choose to put them down.

With Jett, God answered my prayer.  Not only did Jett fall asleep and pass, Al said he didn't look like he was in any pain, just like he went to sleep and never woke up, but God took him when I wasn't here to be witness to it.  I will always wish I was here, and that my baby didn't have to leave alone, that I could've held him one more time and told him I loved him before he left me, but God knows best.  He knows I couldn't have handled that.  As it was, coming home to discover Jett had died while I was in Florida, if you remember, it nearly broke me.  I was a wreck for a long time.  I'm crying even now thinking about it.

So God does answer prayers.  He does.  He wants to help, and when we invite Him to help, He does so, lovingly, and with full knowledge of what is best for us.  I truly believe that asking God to help keep me strong while I try to become fit and healthier, God will answer, and He will help, because He knows it's in my best interest to not be overweight anymore.

We're a team, God and I.  That's how it works.  He's not going to magically make me fit.  It's going to take work on my part, but He will be there to hold me up when I feel weak and He will help me make that dream a reality.

I believe it.  Do you?