Presents, Tests, and Trust | 12/11/2010 |
I think by now, we all know that patience is NOT one of my virtues. I tend to be a "want what I want, when I want it" person a lot of the time. I do have patient moments, like with others, although I tend to show my impatience with my mother more often than not. Al, however, is a man of tremendous patience - most of the time. When it comes to gift-giving, however, he is probably the most IMpatient person you'll ever want to meet. He just can't wait to give a gift until the actual day you're supposed to give it - at least with me, anyway.
Yesterday, out of the clear blue sky, (and it was clear blue, just cold as the dickens) he hands me this card from Kohl's. It's a "take 15% off your order" deal, good in-store or online. If you spend over $100, you get to take 20% off. So after he hands me this card, he tells me, "Go ahead and buy your jewelry armoire for Christmas."
I've wanted one for a long time, and he asked Amy what to get me for Christmas, and then she turned around and asked me what I wanted, so I sent her a link to the armoire I wanted, which she then passed on to Al. He told me over a month ago that he knew what I wanted for Christmas, like he knows me so well that he just knew, but I knew he set Amy to the task of feeling me out about it. I didn't say anything to him about knowing that and just let him think he was very bright and really slick.
Anyway, when he told me to go ahead and order it, I just looked at him with my jaw on the floor. I said, "Couldn't you have just ordered it and paid for it without me knowing about it so I'd get it at Christmas?" His response was, "You know me. I can't ever wait to give you your present on the day." I think maybe three times in the 20 years we've been together, has he EVER waited until Christmas to give me a gift. The first one was my engagement ring, when he popped the question in front of my entire family, the second time was when DVD players were the new thing and he surprised me with one, and the third time was when I told him flat out what I wanted for Christmas but he let me think I wasn't getting it and had it shipped directly to Mom & Dad's house. It was my Bears bowling ball and Bears two-ball bowling bag on wheels. Other than that, he always gives me my presents before Christmas. I just can't break him of the habit. He's like a kid who just got an allowance and it's burning a hole in his pocket.
Naturally, since I had to order the gift, which, by the way, was on sale for 50% off, plus the 20% off coupon and free shipping to boot - what a great deal! - I told him to go look in the spare room closet. Well he was running late for work and didn't want to take the time to do that, so I had ants in my pants all day and night, waiting for him to get back home again and eat his dinner before he finally got up and went to the spare room to pull out his Christmas present. If I had to get my present early, then there was no sense in me making him wait to get his, and it saves me the trouble of wrapping it or sneaking it to my brother's house for Christmas Eve.
He was really pleased and surprised with the gift, which is a 6-in-1 stereo system in a walnut casing. The stereo has a turnable to play all his vinyl, a six-CD player and CD recorder to he can copy his all his vinyl to CDs for he car, a tape cassette deck since we've both refused to get rid of our cassettes, an AM/FM radio, and even a place to plug in an MP3 player to listen to that music through the stereo instead of earbuds - not that either of us has an iPod or anything like that, but you know, it's a nifty little feature.
Now we just need to get the living room rearranged and in some sort of order so he can set up the stereo. Until we get another decent table to set it upon, or perhaps get over to storage and grab one of the glass end tables my mom gave us that we haven't been able to put to use yet.
I guess it's all okay, that we've exchanged our presents early, since we don't even put up a tree. With three cats here, two of whom who climb on EVERYTHING and one that has a history of peeing on the base of the tree and knocking off the ornaments, putting up a tree would be a senseless endeavor. Besides, we're going to go to my brother's on Christmas Eve, just for Mom's sake, but we weren't planning on spending the night there this year. We wanted to come home and spend our time together on Christmas morning without the rest of the family. It doesn't seem right to me anyway, to do a big family Christmas thing at my brother's anyway, with Corri locked away in rehab. They aren't going to let her out for the holiday. Maybe next year, we can do the family thing with the family breakfast on Christmas morning, but this year, no. Mom and Bob are probably both going to be upset that we're not going to spend the night, but that's what we decided to do. We're not going to tell them we've already exchanged our gifts. They don't need to know that. They only need to know that we want to celebrate Christmas Day our way this year.
On to my book.
Today's chapter was about your view of life. How do you view life? What is your life metaphor? For some people, life is a circus. For others, it's a game, or a card game, specifically, and you play the hand you are dealt. I've always held the life metaphor of a roller coaster - lots of ups and downs, even some twists and turns, but the ride is exhilarating, somewhat frightening, but always lots of fun.
In the bible, there are three life metaphors, but only two are discussed in this chapter - tests and trust.
The bible tells us that life is a test and that God tests us repeatedly, just as he tested Abraham and Jacob, and many others throughout Christian history. It's a test that is meant to not only prepare us for our eternal lives, but it is also a test to see what gifts and responsibilities we will be given in our eternal reward. Those things are based on how we respond to the various tests in our lives, both small and large.
Personally, I've never liked the idea that God tests us, but I know he does. I just have a problem viewing a loving God as someone who would test his children to see what they're made of, but I guess, if I look at it from a human standpoint rather than a spiritual one, don't our own earthly parents test us too? They leave us home alone as teenagers and give us responsibility, then sit back and wait to see if we throw a party or act the way they really want us to act by taking the responsibility seriously and not screwing up. I'm sure if I really think about it, I can come up with more examples, but that's one big one that comes to mind. So I guess if we are made in God's image, and our parents did that to us, and we do it to our children, why WOULDN'T God put us to the test as well? I still don't like it, but I accept it as a spiritual fact.
The other life metaphor is of trust. Everything and everyone on this earth belongs to God. We are merely here for a short time to share in his creation and to enjoy it because he loves us enough to do that for us. Everything we have, we didn't get on our own merits. We have what we have because God allowed it to be so. We have been given a great trust from God to care for his creation and to act as good stewards of all our gifts, creation included. I have no problem believing this as a spiritual fact. We are given responsibilities here on earth, God places his trust in us to do the right thing. Sometimes we fail. Sometimes we don't. David failed at first. So did many others. Eventually he learned, as I believe we all do, even if it comes at the end of our lives.
Point to Ponder: Life is a test and a trust.
Verse to Remember: Luke 16:10a - Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won't be faithful in large ones.
Question to Consider: What has happened to me recently that I now realize was a test from God? What are the greatest matters God has entrusted to me?
I don't know about recent tests, not big ones anyway, but maybe some small ones. Our money issues could be a test, but I think, too, my being in the position I was in when Fr. Frank passed away, was a huge test for me. I failed it miserably. Sure, I carried on after his death, took on a major role in planning his funeral, finished out the school year, but then I just fell apart. I couldn't go back. I couldn't handle it. I let the depression take over and suck me in until I had no choice but to give up the job to someone else who could fulfill those duties. I've failed a lot of things miserably. God gave me a child and please don't think I haven't forgiven myself when I say this, but look what I did? I was given one very sick cat to care for over a 14-year period, and although I loved Jett more than I can ever say, I wasn't vigilant about his meds, especially because they didn't seem to do him any good. And what happened? He died without me. Now I have another sick cat, and I *am* vigilant about giving Jericho his medicine, getting him to the vet, all of it. I should've been doing that with Jett, but I didn't.
God entrusted me to ministry and I've pretty much given that up, too. I haven't been able to bring myself back into it since Fr. Frank. I can barely get my ass to church, let alone take on the responsibility of being a lector, Eucharistic Minister, or even teacher again. I think I'm doing pretty well just to be working through this program right now in an effort to kick-start my spiritual life again and draw nearer to God once more.
I guess the good news in all this is that every day is a new opportunity for me to do things right. To pass the tests. To show God that I can be trusted with small matters so that in my eternity, he entrusts me with larger ones. If I'm fortunate enough to get to heaven, that is.
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Wow, see ... my husband annoys me at Christmas because he always.. always always always... guesses what I got him.. and it irritates me...