I went to bed at 10pm last night and was out like a light. I thought about staying up a little later and waiting for Al to get home from work, but his hours are so unpredictable now, I didn't want to push it, especially having to be up at 7am today.
I have no idea what time Al actually got home, but he came to bed somewhere around 2:30 or 3:00 am, and when he crawled into bed, he woke me up. I got out of bed to go pee, but not before he told me to come right back to bed.
Well, I didn't come right back to bed. Instead, wide awake as I was, I came to the computer and caught up on my games; served my dishes in Cafe World, harvested strawberries in Farmville and so on. The last thing I wanted was to get up this morning with a whole page full of game requests.
I wasn't tired at all, so I stayed up and played trivia after I finished my games. I even gave consideration to going to the gym by myself when they opened at 5am. That thought was quashed around 4:30 when I got hit with another case of the sleepies. I went back to bed, knowing the alarm was set for 6:45.
Slept through the alarm and didn't actually get up until 7:30. Al and I both jumped out of bed and he headed straight for the shower. I dressed my unshowered ass and made coffee. If I'd have tried to shower too, we'd have been late for sure, but we were out the door by 8am to pick up my sister. We made it there just before 9am, even after stopping off to buy Al a cup of coffee because he didn't take any from home, and attempting to buy my sister a cup of coffee but the line was too long.
Corri looks really good, very happy, with her short and sassy new haircut, and she's feeling TONS better since her trip to the emergency room last week. No more vertigo but she still feels a bit fuzzy headed from time to time. Her doctor upped her Cymbalta to help her sleep and hopefully put the kabosh on all the weird dreams she's been having.
We got her to Social Security in time for her appointment and then had to sit there for an hour while she was interviewed. I brought my book and knocked out a big chunk before my eyes started getting heavy and I finally had to close it and lay my head on Al's shoulder to get some sleep. He sat there and slept with one eye open for the whole hour, but it was an extra hour he needed.
The three of us stopped at McDonald's to get something to eat on the way home since neither A nor I had time for breakfast, and Corri would be missing lunch at rehab by the time she got back. We brought the food back to the house and it gave Corri a chance to come in, get her mail, and spend some time with Snarf and visit with all the kitten littles.
Shortly after noon, it was time for Al to leave for work and take Corri back to rehab while I stayed home. It was so great to get this extra little visit with her. Totally worth the lack of sleep and the extra gas and mileage on the car. Man, I miss that girl.
Today is day 11 of The Purpose Driven Life, and the chapter is all about becoming best friends with God. The book discusses how Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden enjoyed an intimate friendship with God, continually in his presence, and it wasn't until the Fall that the intimacy ended, but we were designed for this sort of friendship and being in his presence at all times. Praying is one way to get us closer to God, but that's not the only way, and it's not enough to just set aside daily time to pray or immerse yourself in God's Word. It's also not enough to just go to church one day a week to spend time in prayer and thanksgiving.
We are called to pray without ceasing, make everything we do a prayer or an offering to God, but we should also be spending time in meditation. We speak to God when we pray, but it is during meditation on him or on his Word, that God speaks to us. It's meant to be a two-sided conversation, not just one-sided from us to God. We just have to give God the chance to speak to us.
Point to Ponder: God wants to be my best friend.
Verse to Remember: Psalm 25:14a - Friendship with God is reserved for those who reverence him.
Question to Consider: What can I do to remind myself to think about God and talk to him more often throughout the day?
That's a really good question because honestly, I do think about God a lot during the day. One minute I'll be immersed in some frivolous activity, and the next it's like God makes his presence known to me because I start thinking about him. Sometimes it's at the most inopportune moments, but I think that's his way of trying to get my attention and tell me that I'm not supposed to be doing what it is I am doing.
Since reading this chapter, however, I will be making more of a conscious effort to speak to God, and let him speak to me, but that second part is the most difficult for me. I have a hard time with meditating or repeating verses or stories in my head like a mantra. I can't shut my brain off long enough to do that, but I guess I'm going to have to try. If I really trust in God, then I have to believe that despite my bipolar illness that keeps my brain so busy and noisy all the time, he will help me quiet it down when he wants to speak to me, but I think I just have to make the effort.
Is it weird that I talk to God in the shower? I said thank you to him and told him how good and soothing the hot water felt to my chilled body. If God wants to share in every bit of my life, every aspect, then I don't think it's weird to talk to him there. Geez, sometimes I'm known to talk to God when I'm using the bathroom. What else is there to do in there besides your business? It's not like I always bring a book. Sometimes it's just a short prayer, sometimes it's even a complaint. But when you're alone all day like I am and you're trying to grow closer to God, you have no qualms about talking to him, out loud even, about this, that, or the other thing. I guess I just need to do it more often in all things.
Sometimes I feel very far away from God, but maybe I'm closer to him than I think. Only he knows for sure.
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