Relapse & The Aftermath

The Challenge: Read 12 books of 200 pages or more in 12 months. That's one book per month.

The Time frame: January 1, 2011 to December 31, 2011

The Reason: Studies have shown that reading helps keep your mind healthy and active. The mind you save may be your own.

January

Sisterchicks Say Ooh La La! - Robin Jones Gunn

Sisterchicks in Gondolas! - Robin Jones Gunn

Sisterchicks Go Brit! - Robin Jones Gunn

One Tuesday Morning - Karen Kingsbury

Sisterchicks in Wooden Shoes! - Robin Jones Gunn

Sisterchicks Down Under! - Robin Jones Gunn

Redemption - Karen Kingsbury

Remember - Karen Kingsbury

Return - Karen Kingsbury

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

What I'm Currently Reading

Rejoice

Karen Kingsbury

Book Count 2011:  9

No morning meditations today, but instead, it's been a day of drama that started last night and carried over into this morning.

Corri left here with Jason last night and she was supposed to spend the night with him.  That was the last I heard when she left.

Next thing I know, Jason pops up on my Facebook and starts spouting all this shit about my sister, like how she really likes his younger brother, they made out, she sent him nude photos of herself and blah, blah, blah.  I told him flat out I wasn't getting involved, but he kept going on and on.  I told him if he wanted to bitch and moan about my sister, he was talking to the WAY wrong person because I didn't want to hear any of it.  Still, he continued, and finally I told him I was going to give him a piece of advice.  He runs hot and cold with Corri and he needs to grow the hell up and stop acting like he's still in high school.

Then I closed out Facebook so I wouldn't have to listen to him anymore.

I called Corri right away, and sure enough, she was at Mom's house.  I told her everything Jason said to me and she had little to say.  Mom was supposed to be bringing her back to my house and we could talk then.

Then I get a text message from Corri, saying she's spending the night at Colleen's house and would see me the next day.  I waited a bit and then called Mom to confirm this is what was happening.  Yes, it was.

I went on about my night, finished my book, talked to Al when he got home from work, and then went to bed.

My phone started ringing at 5:45am this morning, and it was Colleen.  She called to tell me that Corri left her house last night and when Colleen got up, Corri was half naked and passed out on the bathroom floor.  Not only was she beyond drunk and passed out, someone had taken permanent marker and drew a penis on her face next to her mouth, then wrote the words "Cunt" and "Bitch" on each of her legs.

Al and I had to get up and get dressed to go pick her up.  When we got there, she was sleeping in a chair with no bottoms on and Al had to dress her.  Her glasses are missing, her phone is missing, and God only knows what else.

Come to find out, Jason showed up at Colleen's house, took her out, got her drunk to the point that she couldn't even remember her own name, let alone his, and then he proceeded to have sex with her.  Because she was drunk, we can't prove rape.  Apparently this wasn't the first time he took her out and had her drinking either.  He took her to a bar over the weekend and plied her with alcohol to get her to sleep with him because her inhibitions are non-existent when she's drunk.  She doesn't even remember what she does.

When we got her home, Al really lit into her until she was practically hysterical with her sobbing.  Al is not moved by tears and told her to dry it up.  We managed to get the whole sordid story out of her, everything she could remember, that is.  So we know it was Jason who wrote all over her like that.

Al told her he's not going to kick her out and put her on the street, but she needs to go back to Step 1 and start working her 12 steps again.  Jason is no longer welcome here, and in fact, Al doesn't give a shit if she's an adult or not, she is NOT allowed to talk to him, see him, or have anything more to do with him.  She agreed to it.  Al also told her that if she doesn't change her friends and straighten back up again, there are going to be dire consequences.  He didn't let me in on what those dire consequences might be, and frankly, I'm not asking.  This is his show and he's running it.  But whatever was said between them, she agreed to it all.

I'm heartsick over the whole situation.  Seeing my sister like that, with the writing all over her and everything, just made me want to throw up.  Jason is an immature little bastard if he thinks that kind of stuff is funny.  I'm furious.  I'd beat the crap out of him myself if I could.  How dare he do that to her and violate her sexually, as well as physically in that form.  He's a controlling, manipulative little bastard, and now, Corri was doing so well, but she is paying the price for being "friends" with someone like that.  And the price is a heavy one.  She has to start back at square one again with her recovery.

They warned us about relapses when she was in rehab.  It happens.  We just have to support her as she picks herself back up and tries to start over again. 

I have a feeling we're going to have a long road to hoe.

For February, the theme of the "diet" journal is Temptation.  I think the things written here can cover more than just dieting.  In fact, I think they also apply to my sister and her situation with drinking.

There are so many wonderful things to indulge in.  No matter where we look, there are temptations abounding.  The harder we try to resist temptation, the greater the temptation seems.  When we diet, everything reminds us of food.  Everywhere we turn, there are pictures, sign, advertisements, smells, sounds, and other reminders of what we are trying to give up.  If we are honest, we will admit that we need help.  God can be that help, if we will let Him.  Jesus Christ faced amazing temptations in the wilderness.  Satan faced Him directly, though he went away defeated.  The same power that Jesus drew on is available to us.  We, too, can defeat the temptations we come up against.  Dieting is easier when we feel that we are not alone.  Make dieting a partnership effort.  Include God in your attempt to lose weight, and He will bless you with strength to withstand all temptation.

"I can't win," the woman lamented.  "I give in and eat something, and then I feel guilty.  When I feel guilty, I eat.  The more I eat, the guiltier I feel, and the guiltier I feel, the more I eat!"

Sometimes we feel like failures when we break our diets.  We can be swept up in a sense of guilt that makes it nearly impossible for us to stick to our diet.  The solution to guilt is forgiveness, and forgiveness comes to us through our advocate, Jesus Christ the righteous.  Jesus knows that we sometimes give in, and He loves us just the same.  Accept His love, accept His forgiveness, and let go of any guilt you may feel.

Today's thought:  I am not condemned just because I sometimes slip!