You'd Better Think

The Challenge: Read 12 books of 200 pages or more in 12 months. That's one book per month.

The Time frame: January 1, 2011 to December 31, 2011

The Reason: Studies have shown that reading helps keep your mind healthy and active. The mind you save may be your own.

January

Sisterchicks Say Ooh La La! - Robin Jones Gunn

Sisterchicks in Gondolas! - Robin Jones Gunn

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

What I'm Currently Reading

Sisterchicks Go Brit!

Robin Jones Gunn

Book Count 2011:  2

Think of something that you currently want but are unable to get.  What would you settle for instead that would still make you happy?

There are a number of things I want, but they are things that will either take a long time to get or maybe I will never get them at all.  I want to lose some more of this weight.  Long time to get there, but it will come.  I want to get a new car, but that is also going to take some time before it can become a reality.

The first thing I thought of when I read today's journaling prompt was... I want a house.  A real house and not this mobile home.  I want a house with a yard and lots of space because let's face it, Al is a packrat and we've got a lot of stuff with not enough space for it.  I want a basement for storing things, or an attic for storing things, so we can get all our stuff out of storage and quit paying a monthly fee for holding onto stuff we just plain do not have room for right now, but it's too good to give away and have to repurchase down the road.

Until we can make the dream of a real home a reality, I would settle for this place being remodeled and organized, and that's going to take some time to accomplish.  Not only is it going to take us working hard to move more things into storage, it's also going to take some monetary discipline in order to fix the things that need fixing.  We need to redo the bathrooms.  The bedrooms still need to be completed.  We need a new deck.  We need a landscaper to come in and do something with what little yard we have to make it look presentable.  We need a bedroom set in the spare bedroom so Corri has more than just a twin sized bed and hand-me-down dresser.  She can live in it, but it sure isn't pretty.

I'd settle for all those little things being done, to make this place more like the beautiful little home it once was.  And we're getting there, little by little.  We both work on at least one thing a day.  Well, most days.  With Al's work schedule, there's not a lot he can do during the week.  For him, it's all weekend work, so I've tried really hard not to fill up his weekends with a lot of fluff to keep him from doing what needs done.  That's not to say he actually accomplishes what he's supposed to do.  Like I've said before, Al is a good man, but he is a procrastinator to the extreme.  He's worse than I am, and that is saying something, because I really know how to push things off.

But that is what would make me happy.  In the absence of being able to buy a bigger house, and let's face it, we're not in any position to do that any time soon, I would settle for making this place a home once again.

We've just got too much stuff.  That's really it.  And the more stuff we get rid of, the more stuff is given to us.  All we're doing is exchanging stuff.  When people ask what we want for Christmas or birthdays, I always say "gift cards" and I'm always told, "that's not a present."  But for us, it would be a great present.  Gift cards for gas or groceries are always welcome.  Tickets to a play or a sporting event would be equally so.  The last thing in the world we need is more stuff.

I almost sound like George Carlin right now.  Have you ever heard his story about stuff?  It's hilarious, but sadly, very true, and not just for me and Al, but probably for most people.  We start out with a little stuff, and as our stuff grows, we need bigger places to store all our stuff.  Sad, funny, but oh-so true!

I've got enough stuff to fill a house, possibly even several times over.  That's one of the reasons I've started going to the library to read books.  I can't be buying more books to bring into this house, especially when I no longer have enough book shelves to store them.  Our book shelves are in storage, along with most of our books.  When I O get a new book, unless it's one I absolutely want to keep, I finish reading it and then donate it to the library.  At least other people can get use out of it, even if it costs me money to buy it and I get nothing in return.  I like being abe to give to others, and donating books allows me to give back a little something, I suppose.

It's also why I donate clothes to Goodwill or Salvation Army.  I'm bound and determined that I'm not going back up to my old size, so there's no reason for me to keep those clothes around.  Better to give them away and let them be available for someone else who couldn't afford to buy them at full price in a store.  I take care of my clothes.  They're all in great condition - most of them still like new.

I guess in one way, that could be considered me having a servant's heart, isn't it?  Because instead of having a yard sale and trying to make money on these things, I just give them away to places that can help others who need it.  If I were really in dire straights, I know I'd be grateful to someone who gave away nice things that I'd be able to pick up for little to no cost.  So hopefully I'm doing the same for someone else in giving my stuff away.

Day 34.  Thinking like a servant.

Point to Ponder:  To be a servant I must think like a servant.

Verse to Remember:  Philippians 2:5 - Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.

Question to Consider:  Am I usually more concerned about being served or finding ways to serve others?

I have a tendency toward selfishness.  Everyone in the world does, really, but I am keenly aware of my own shortcomings in that regard.  Sometimes I want what I want, when I want it, and usually I want it now.  On the other hand, I like to think that I think about others more than I think about myself, but I could be wrong.  When it comes to Al, I don't always think of him first or put him first.

Amy and I had a conversation about this the other day.  She was telling me some things and I told her, being honest with myself for the first time in a long time, that one of the reasons I don't think of Al first and I indulge my selfishness with him is because of how he used to treat me.  I was never first with him for a very long time.  I came behind the kids, his divorce, his job, and everything else.  It took a long time to get him to where he is now, and that is that he always thinks of me first.  He always thinks of me, period.  I don't do the same for me because maybe I still feel some sort of warped sense of entitlement and that I'm afraid at any given moment, I will fall second or third in his life again.  I mean, he's up for this promotion at work and if he gets it, life is going to change for us in the way that we do things.  I'm afraid his new job will consume him the way the last one did and I will no longer be his first priority.  How screwed up is that?

When I get paid, the first things I think of, after paying the bills are how I'm going to spend the rest of my money.  MY money, not OUR money.  I tend to have a "what's mine is mine, but what's yours is mine" mentality with him and the money situation.  I know God is watching how I use that resource, and yet, I haven't been able to stop myself.

Al and I have just been talking this morning while I'm writing this, and I've just heard myself say, "After I take care of Shiloh and pay the car insurance, and buy our kitchen table, I'm going to put that money away and come up with the $500 down that I need in order to get a car of my own."  I didn't ask him or consult him.  I just told him that's what I'm going to do.  And now that I've written this, I just apologized to him.  He was gracious about it and said, "We all do it.  I've done it.  We work at it.  We're getting there."  We are.  It's just taking some time, that's all.

But mostly, I don't really expect or think about how I can best be served, or maybe I do and I'm just kidding myself.  I only know that I'm going to work on trying to think of others first, starting with my husband.

Long-distance runners train themselves to think of the finish line.  They visualize it just ahead.  They say this keeps them from wanting to give up somewhere along the way.  The reward of crossing the finish line is worth more than any pain or discomfort on the way.  Dieters can learn from this.  Instead of dwelling on how hungry we are or how much we long for rich foods, we should continually think in terms of the rewards that await us at the end.  Christians follow Christ with hope of a heavenly reward.  Faith means we await something yet to come.  Dieting means we live in the hope of trimming down and looking fit.

Today's thought:  The reward of our diet is greater than the sacrifice!

When I was in that relationship with Jim that I never should've had in the first place, I dieted for him.  My goal was him, seeing him and being with him, and making him happy to be with me and be seen with me.  I went faithfully to the gym three days a week, and followed their low carb diet to the letter.  It paid off when I dropped 50 pounds.  I used to have this mantra that I repeated in my head whenever I wanted to eat and sacrificed what I wanted to stick to my diet, and when I was in the gym working out on the machines or doing the aerobic portion between each machine set.  My mantra was, "It'll all be worth it to see Jim."  I repeated it over and over again so that it was the cadence with which I pushed myself on each machine or with each step.

Now, wanting to be the best I can be for God, my mantra is, "It'll all be worth it, to make God happy and proud of me.  It'll all be worth it to hear, 'Well done, good and faithful servant.'  It'll all be worth it to get to heaven."

I don't think dieting is going to get me to heaven.  Don't misunderstand me.  But the way I live my life, the things I do, how well I act as a steward of God's gifts, including the gift of my body and the gift of this life, certainly make a difference in living a Christian life.

I was saved at Baptism as a baby, and I confirmed my baptismal promises at Confirmation when I chose to be Catholic and live a life for God.  I firmly believe that "being saved" and "accepting Jesus Christ as your personal Savior" is not enough.  We work out our salvation each and every day by the choices we make.  You can accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, but unless you are living a life in him, as a Christian should, your salvation is not guaranteed.  The bible tells us that not everyone who calls "Lord, Lord," will be saved.

It's up to me to live this Christian life in him, and do the things I am supposed to do, including taking care of myself by being a good steward of my body.  It's not MY body.  It's God's body and I'm just using it on a loan.  The body will die eventually and turn to dust, but my soul is what's going to live on.  I want my body to be a reflection of goodness and Christ in my soul.

So every time I give up something I want to put in my mouth, or every time I go to the gym and try to strengthen my God-given body, I think I am working out my salvation in a positive way.  And it'll all be worth it - when I get to heaven.  I just have to remind myself that self-sacrifices are still good in God's eyes.