I am feeling a mix of gratitude (thanks to God) and frustration.
Gratitude. God has been really kind to me. I am so weak (as tough and wise as some may think I am, I'm really a weakling in the eyes of God) and God has been very kind to me. He has given me reminders and comfort to keep enduring and going (despite my weakness).
In my journey of healing, there is one part, the social support part that I am in the lack of. I am a bit in a bubble. But if I hastily just try to allow any one willing for social support, I will most likely end up like Job. His social support group just didn't get it. They didn't get the uncommon position Job was in.
Anyway, God provided something else that kinda is somewhat a replacement of the social support I need.
Frustration. There is too much incompetence out there. With my work, I am like a one man company (although it is not a company). I do the main work(s) in serving multitudes (eventually, and now am gradually building up to it, but this is the part that I love.) However, I also have to take care of the less fun parts like tech needs. I am my own bean counter and tracker (accountant). I have to take care of all the admin stuff. These latter parts are frustrating when you have to deal with incompetent people at the post office, incompetent people at Fedex,...
Maybe this is a lesson for the future when I do have to start hiring, to take a lot of time and care to hire the right people. Or maybe it's just a test of my patience and perseverance.
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