i hate this feeling
so tonight my boyfriend is going out to celebrate his best friend's 21st birthday. i have no problem with this because i know he isn't stupid enough to do anything, well....stupid. however, ever since he sent me a text telling me that he was off work for the day i cannot get this sick to my stomache, lump just sitting there bad feeling out of me. i know he won't drive drunk and that he will be careful on all fronts, but i cannot shake this feeling. i don't want to text him and tell him this because he will just tell me that i am being paranoid, and maybe i am, but i just want it to go away.
it doesn't help either that i've been having this dream since saturday about him going out on thursday (they are going out again thursday night) that has me continuously waking up drenched in a cold sweat and almost in tears. keep in mind that my dream has nothing to do with him getting hurt or anything happening to him at all, but it honestly is scaring me. i try not to read a lot into my dreams but lately some of them have actually happened. i'm not sure my nerves can handle this...
it is a really good thing i don't work tomorrow because i know i am not going to sleep well tonight. luckily he will still text me throughout the night, but that is not taking any of this feeling away. plus he promised he would text me when he gets home from the bar or where ever they may end up. ah! i feel like i should be doing something about this stupid feeling but i know there is nothing that i can do at this point. all i can do is hope that everything goes well and they have fun without anything happening. *sigh*
well on that note i think i am going to try and find something to occupy my time so i don't entirely lose my mind tonight. maybe i will hook up the wii and play a game or something. or i could just keep writing on here until my fingers are sore haha. i am glad about one thing though...
he was going to take tomorrow off so they could have a whole day of doing things but he can't do that anymore because tomorrow is a mandatory work day. it sounds bad but i'm so glad he has to work tomorrow.
okay, on that note i am going to try and find something to do so i don't lose my mind.
::end of story::
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