suspended in the gap between time and space, all i can do is sit, and stare. at the world blurring up against the pane glass window. hundreds of cars, millions of lives, continually moving forward. yet i remain, motionless. as the whole of my being is consumed by the neverending cycle. the never ending motion, of everything around me. yet i remain, stationary. obsolete in the largest sense of the word. a time capsule that never changes, never ages, never grows into something better. time is passing and yet i remain, the same. as a fear of change would threaten the little sense of being i have left, to thaw and regain consciousness at this point in my life, proves to be a worrisome feat. for years i have been an observer. of the successes and the failures of the people that surrond me. the rollercoasters of everyone elses life. absence has made the heart grow fonder of an earlier time, of ease. of moving forward. of progress. i could fight a battle with the demons of my soul. constant contradiction. stay away from the hooks, she said. and i took it literally.
finally getting my life in order has taken alot more time than actual work. when you discover what it is you're meant to do you know it. music is in my bones. yet though i am not gifted, i have struggled with finding a way to somehow participate. a way to give back. so begins my journey. step number one is move to a different city, closer to work. pay off debt (before i possess alot more). save as much money as i can. and finally go follow some sort of dream. i deserve to have the chance to do what i want in life. i am worthy despite my more popular opinion. its a new dawn.
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