nobody said it was easy.

09/07/2012

i was really looking forward to writing an entry about the kittens i rescued.
it was so epic, it felt awesome.
they were trapped in a window well for i dont know how long.
i pulled one out, and then heard another.
i was going to keep the first one.
so cute, grey with white paws.
i named him Leroy and he was going to be mine next week.
my neighbour often rescues strays, so she was nursing them back to health.

but he died yesterday.
i dont know what happened.
he was maybe just in the hole too long.
he seemed fine the day before.

i feel so sad.
and awful.
i heard the kitten crying once before i thought to search for them.
i thought the mom just had them hidden somewhere
like she normally does.
i feel like its my fault that i left them in the hole too long.
but i didnt know they were there.
i just.
cant stop feeling sad.
i maybe should have taken him to the vet sooner.
he had an appointment for next week.
he seemed totally fine, so i didnt think it was urgent.
i know there was nothing i could have known or done.
but i still feel like crap.
poor little baby.

david said at least he died in a warm home,
and not in the hole.
im just sad he died at all.
i was going to love him.
i did love the little babe.

my neighbour rescued his brother a few weeks ago,
i may end up taking him.
i dont know yet.
need to get over the loss of Leroy first.
the other kitten was a female,
and im afriad to take her and get attached,
if the same thing is going to happen.

we'll see.
its just a sad sad day.


rip little Leroy.


xoxox.