I got to talk to my step-mom a little bit on Facebook today. It was nice to be able to talk to someone about my brother and to be able to be completely honest and not worry about offending someone. I'm able to do that with my sister too, but with my step-mom it's just different.
Last night I was having problems expressing exactly how I was feeling about the whole "my brother and Christmas at my parent's house" issue. But I figured it out.
I'm very frustrated because my parent's invited me, my husband and my 6 year old daughter to their house for Christmas. But they've also invited my brother, who is unstable, erratic, violent and a heroin addict. He most likely will not show up but if he does. We will leave. I do not want him around my daughter and I do not want to be around him. And that frustrates me because MY BROTHER is the one doing this to us and the repercussion of not being able to be with your family on Christmas should fall on him, because of the shitty choices he's made, not me and most certainly not my daughter.
My mom said that I'm always talking about people having a choice and that it also applies to me. That I have a choice whether or not to leave if my brother comes. I don't believe I do. You don't bring you children around heroin addicts. Simple as that. There is no way my mom would have brought us to Christmas at my grandparent's house if one of her brother's would have been addicts. No way.
I have a feeling that this is going to come to a head very soon but that it's going to get worse before it gets better. I'm kinda weird like that. I get feelings. Sometimes they're good, sometimes they're as shitty as they come - like this one.
But I don't want to leave yet another entry on a negative note.
Hmmmm.....
Oh! My daughter's Elf on the Shelf came in the mail today. I put the box on her bed so she'll see it when she gets home. On second thought maybe I should put it in the bathroom or in the entryway, so she sees it first thing. yeah the entry way sounds better.
Pollywogs & Princesses,
-Bliss. |
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