a little lost and lonely sometimes

I have done absolutely nothing today... and I love days like that. Especially when I have to spend all day tomorrow babysitting two crazy kids. I got to sleep in and watch Desperate Housewives all day. Watching Desperate Housewives is a new habit of mine. I actually just started watching Season 1 two days ago after I saw Eva Longoria on Lopez Tonight. I thought she was absolutely gorgeous and quite funny. So now I'm two episodes away from being done with Season 1 and I'm hooked. ha.

Sooo yeahh.. I watched my tv show and studied for the GRE (another habit of mine). I took the test last summer and got a below average score on it AND because I want to get into graduate school quite soon I am retaking it to hopefully improve my chances. The test is in three weeks and I feel less than ready. But, then again, I've never been good at standardized tests. SO we shall see.

BUT tomorrow I have to babysit... which is good because I make some good money. but it takes up a whole saturday. which i guess is alright. I'd rather have something to do.. I've been feeling so alone lately. The last four year I was in Illinois going to college. Now that I'm back in Tennessee..I miss all of my friends and my man. I have a couple of high school friends here.. but most of them are on the five year plan so they are away at school OR they decided to live and work where they went to school. Besides all of my closest friends are the ones that I made in Illinois. I feel like such a loser..I never go out anymore. It sucks growing up.. especially stuck in the middle like I am. I am between schools.. graduated from college but cant use my degree because I need my masters to practice speech pathology. BUT in order to get my masters I have to get into graduate school which is competitive as hell to get accepted in to. I guess at times like these I just have to have faith and learn and live through what life throws at me. Like it's probably smart to get a job now so I can save up money to pay for the grad school that I will hopefully get into. AND it's nice to be home and living with my parents (sometimes) because I definitely plan on living somewhere up north in the future. I'm trying to treasure the experiences that I am having right now.. but it's hard when everyone else is moving on with their lives.

Well I think I'm through ranting for tonight. Thanks for reading


Chrissy