I got to spend time with her again. I can't help myself. I am so scared, I don't know how I will ever make this work but when I am with her my heart is so full. It is so terrifying but exhilarating all at the same time. I just wish the guilt wasn't there. It's lingering in my mind and the reason I can't take things further even though I so desperately want to. I am not a cheater.
We were sitting there at the restaurant, on the same side of the booth, bodies pressed against each other as we played trivia on the tablet.
People were staring at us. We didn't kiss, didn't hold hands, but the way we looked at each other must have screamed "GAY!" so loudly. I caught the servers whispering and stealing glances our way. The table next to us, I saw nudges and glances. But i did not care. I was on cloud nine
I am crazy about her. She is the most beautiful human being in the world and she has the most perfect personality. She is amazing and I can't help but just look at her and want to be with her always.
I am not mushy. I gag at that shit! But she has turned me to mush with every touch of my arm, squeeze of my leg, and everytime I look at her. |
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