My husband has done a 360. He wants me and loves me and my parents and everyone wants us to stay together. I decided to give it another try. I've never seen him cry until this past week at the thought of him losing me.
So I am giving it another try. Putting on my happy face. For him. For our parents. For the kids.
But it's her I want. It is killing me not talking to her but I can't because its not fair to my husband or to her. Only to me. And i can't be selfish.
I have to push these feelings out. I have never felt for someone the way I feel about her. And i have to forget it. | 
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