It looks like a boy!
We had our ultrasound today. It looks like a boy. They want to do another ultrasound to make sure in a month. We had to fight with him to show us. He's wedged between my bladder and the placenta and won't come out. We aren't telling anyone except immediate friends and family. People that can keep their mouths shut lol.
I'm super excited. I'm at ease now, too. I was worried it would be a girl. I realize I wouldn't mind having a girl, I just have always wanted a boy.
My husband is relieved. We got in a fight today though because I want to do one of those fun and cute gender reveal pictures and he doesn't. He doesn't want his picture on Facebook. So he went off on a tangent about me respecting his wishes and went as far as to tell me that if I didn't start respecting his wishes that I would be raising the child on my own. I don't know what to do with him anymore.
He blames me for making him work at a job that he hates. He is a disabled veteran. Their disability isn't like ours, they can work still. We have been together for 5 years now and he quit the job he had right after we started dating. He hadn't taken any time for himself since coming home from Iraq. He started work the week after he got out of the military. So, I was okay with him taking time off then, but his time off turned into the last 5 years. He keeps complaining that he can't find a job and wants to work. Now he has a job and does nothing but complain about working. He has been there 3 months this week and has already called in enough times that I would have fired him. His boss did a stupid thing the other day and told him basically that he wasn't getting fired because Shaun's the only one that can strip and wax the floors and that they need him. He works at the local college in the custodial department. It's not glamorous but I can go to college with free tuition while he works there. He could even go for a degree if he chose to do so.
He has admitted that he was trying to get fired even. I left that alone at the time because he was venting to me about work and I wanted him to talk to me about it. He thinks that maternity leave is only a week and that he could quit and be home with the baby and then I go right back to work as a CNA. I don't know what to tell him. I tell him he's wrong and it somehow translates into he's stupid. His friends can tell him he's wrong sometimes... but not all the time.
Don't get me wrong.. he's a good man. He's a good husband... just sometimes I wish I hadn't married him. He's so stubborn and pig headed that I wish I could just leave him sometimes. Then even having that thought sends me into such a depression that I can't stand it. I shouldn't feel that way. Maybe I make to many excuses for him. Part of it is how he was raised though.
His mother, Tammy, is a POS that hasn't been in his life for the last 3 years. She wouldn't own up to her actions and he needs her to so he can get past the emotional bullshit she has put him through. She actually hooked us up. I worked with her at a grocery store. Other than hooking us up she really has done nothing for his life except use him. I'll put it like this, his first memory is her shooting up. She locked him in a room for 3 days as a child with no food and water to get high, and as an adult she has used him as a check book left and right. She is clean and sober now, so I guess that's a plus. But her life is far from together. So he had enough and cut her off. We have no connection now at all. We were friends with her on Facebook up until we found out we were pregnant. He doesn't want her in his child's life at all.
His father is a drunk. He's a good man... but I have never seen Dale without a beer. Part of Shaun actually despises drinking because of his mother, on top of being a junkie she is an alcoholic.
Many people don't understand him.. but part of our problems in our marriage is because he has never seen one work. He has never seen love between two people actually mean something. Our first date was a headache. I'll be honest, I didn't like him. Something told me to give him another shot, so I did. Our second date was a lot better. I think part of that is because our first was at the movies, we went and saw Avatar. I don't know who thought going to see a movie would be a good thing to do on dates but it's stupid. I'm the type of person that you don't talk to me during movies, unless I've already seen it. He spent the whole movie trying to make a connection so he kind of irritated me lol. All I know about a $20 3D movie to this day is that the lead guy is cute and then he's turned blue. I got him the movie on blu-ray for Christmas one year. We haven't ever watched it. Maybe one day we will.
I just wish he came trained. I love him. I know he loves me. And I know in the end everything will work out.
crayon box
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