Blessings
"The three foundations of learning: Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much." -- Catherall
The things you’re grateful to have
- Ryan.
- Russ.
- Ari.
- A home.
- Money to pay the bills.
- Rational and amusing conversations with Roman
- A calendar
- Memories
- Percosets and prednesone
The things you’re grateful NOT to have
- A job interview tomorrow
- A boyfriend
- A girlfriend
- Poly-drama
- Internet drama
- STDs
- Anywhere to go tomorrow
Boasts
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." -- Anne Frank
The house is de-Christmas-ed.
The sink is shining.
I am eating, though I'm hurting a lot.
I have the best family evers.
I'm trying my best to express myself, patch my heart up, and move on.
I had a real talk with Kai.
I gave Ryan my full and undivided attention.
I did the best I could.
The sink is shining.
I'm fluttering back into my routines.
I didn't eat tooooo many cookies/chips/simple carbs.
I'm not dead.
Thoughts
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
1. The things you didn’t accomplish today
I didn't pay my rent, because I lost my bank card.
I didn't pay my telus bill. I'm going to the bank tomorrow anyway, so I can stop by the telus there and get my bill.
I didn't avoid Drama. And I didn't do as well avoiding venting as I mean to. I think in the end it was all healthy, so I don't regret it though.
2. Think about one of your fears
I'm afraid of selling out.
3. Think of a way to face that fear
Keep writing. Write a damned poem. And otherwise... make peace with my priorities, and if I can't, reexamine them.
4. One new thing you’d like to do
I want to smile when I wake up.
5. What you don’t like about yourself
I'm too self-dismissive. I have managed to be important to a lot of people. Obviously there's something there, even if I don't see it.
6. How you can change what you don’t like about yourself
Talk to myself like I'd talk to a friend who's this cruel to themselves. Try to get other people to explain what they're drawn to in me, and don't argue with them about it. Try to be more consistent with my lists, especially the boasts.
7. Your greatest qualities
Today, this is hard.
I do the best I can.
I'm willing to admit my mistakes (eventually).
I will attempt to repair damage I've caused.
I am very loyal.
8. What the future holds
I'm going to do the ASL class. I'm going to get surgery, so I stop hurting. I'm going to get off the opiates and get my mind back (as much as it ever is). I'm going to get my van, and my stuff. I'm going to someday have a home that I own, a family of my own, and a job that I love.
9. Your life goals
A job that I love. A home that I own. Children. A pagan sanctuary. To be an inspiration and a role model. To minister. To not want to die. To be the person people think I am.
10. You only have one life
Those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. Those who live in the past are doomed to repeat it. |
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