Blessings
"The three foundations of learning: Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much." -- Catherall
The things you’re grateful to have
- Supportive friends (Special shoutouts to Richard, Ari, Hope and Blue for saying the right things (which is even better than not saying the wrong things))
- My parents and all the help they've given me
- Secretaries who love me, and pull strings for me
- Really cool welfare people
- Anyone basically who's dealt with me over the last couple of days and how very very kind they've been
- A colon, even if it did keep me on the toilet for most of the day
- Food
- Opiates
- A doctor's appointment tomorrow
- Phones
- Hydro
- Running water
- My laptop
- My kittens
- The internet, and youtube, especially this
- Funny blogs
- Daily Show
The things you’re grateful NOT to have
- Work tomorrow
- Surgery anytime soon
- An eviction notice
- Anyone currently pissed off at me
- Anymore bills due
- This
- To be doing this on my own
Boasts
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." -- Anne Frank
- I made supper tonight, and for the next two days too (Mmm, chicken week)
- I cleaned the toilet, like with bleach and everything
- I did dishes
- I got dressed to shoes
- I did more research
- I talked to people
- I apologized to the people I wronged yesterday
- I booked the appointment with my GP
- I am going to get help coping with this
- I called welfare to ask about funding for ostomy supplies and to confirm mental health coverage
- I got started with my taxes
- I painted my toe nails
- I am nearly nail-fungus free!!
- I am doing very well with good turns this month
- I have all my bills paid
Thoughts
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
1. The things you didn’t accomplish today
I didn't go to class. I just couldn't bear to leave the house. I didn't exercise.
2. Think about one of your fears
Everything about this.
3. Think of a way to face that fear
I'm researching. I have a lot of questions for the ET nurse when she gets ahold of me. I can make sure that the stoma will be in a reasonable area. I am already researching what new clothes I may need, and other things to make this easier. I'm making plans for how I'm going to cope with the recovery period. I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow to get medicinal and psychological help with coping.
4. One new thing you’d like to do
Climb a mountain.
5. What you don’t like about yourself
How badly I've let my spiritual life slide.
6. How you can change what you don’t like about yourself
Some kind of mental pilgrimage, I think. I'll look into it.
7. Your greatest qualities
I am strong. I am stubborn. I am loyal. I am spiritual, even when I turn my back on it. I am intelligent, observant, curious and bright. I am musical. I am good with children, and okay with grownups. I am organized, even when it doesn't look like it. I am actually a pretty good cook. I am polite. I am regaining my honour.
8. What the future holds
An illeostomy. A new chapter, regardless. Getting to see Watchmen. New clothes. Help. Another test, and an interpretor as a guest speaker. Getting my driver's licence. Being debt free. More Dollhouse. Carmen's birthday. Easter. New people, old people. Deaths and births. And the wheel goes round, and the green grass grew all around.
9. Your life goals
I want to covert a van into a gypsy van. I want to drive across North America. I want to make more than ten grand in a year. I want to own a house, with property. I want a home that's filled with light and joy, not harsh words and clutter. I want children, and to raise them well. I want to be completely myself, without fear of reprisals. I want to be known in pagan and SCA circles. I want to make plans and keep them. I want be a person worthy of respect. I want to be remembered fondly. I want to be able to look myself in the mirror. I want to put out an album's worth of songs. I want a life of service, and a life of service through leadership. I want to pay back or at least pay forward for everything that's been done for me. I especially want to repay my parents, if that's even possible.
10. You only have one life
Sing a song. |
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