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Emotional Tautology
by Chapter Finished

previous entry: Meandering thoughts

next entry: Eulogy

Dance, dance.

03/26/2009

I am wrapping up loose ends. Some more painful than others.

[06:58] Jessie le Fey: I spent four hours wanting you to come on, and I don't know what I wanted to say. I didn't at the time either. I am literally in tears in vexation, and surely that's the last thing you need right now.
[06:58] Kai: It's okay.
[06:59] Kai: I can stand a little vexation.
[07:00] Jessie le Fey: I can see the threads in the world. I can see atoms and it's hard to see the screen. I can hear the stars and the screaming of... of...
[07:03] Kai: *Listens*
[07:04] Jessie le Fey: Why did you go away?
[07:05] Kai: When?
[07:05] Jessie le Fey: I don't know. It's a child's question.
[07:06] Jessie le Fey: Why did you come back?
[07:06] Kai: We build worlds, and when a world ends, another has to be constructed.
[07:09] Jessie le Fey: Thank you.
[07:10] Jessie le Fey: Next time, let's walk into the sun. I want to see where it goes.
[07:14] Kai: Steady, Icarus. Some adventures are best saved for last.

Words didn't describe how I responded to that last sally. And so I said nothing, out loud. But my heart spoke. I can only hope he heard it.

[22:13] Sword-Dancing Kunoichi: Did I cause more wonder than pain?
[22:13] Sword-Dancing Kunoichi: Am I a fond memory?
[22:13] Sword-Dancing Kunoichi: Will you write me a good eulogy in the wind?
[22:14] R: Of course. If I can't guide the stars, I can at least sing their glories
[22:14] R: And who could ever guide the stars?
[22:14] R: Ka
[22:14] R: Ka-tet
[22:14] R: Ka-me
[22:15] R: All ka
[22:16] R: My glory and my dirge Sung in three words The same
[22:16] Sword-Dancing Kunoichi: I'm sorry. I know you don't have room for much other pain than your own. I'm just trying to prepare.
[22:16] Sword-Dancing Kunoichi: Don't mind me.
[22:16] R: It's mine and yours, as I see it
[22:17] R: And I don't mind
[22:17] R: Can't pull the moon down, 'less all's in accordance so
[22:17] R: Can't hold the moon up lest the universe be your b ack
[22:18] R: Will brb
[22:24] R: I don't know what to say
[22:24] Sword-Dancing Kunoichi: Why?
[22:24] R: Why not?
[22:24] R: Just felt the need to convey
[22:24] Sword-Dancing Kunoichi: Do you want to say something?
[22:25] R: No words anyway
[22:25] Sword-Dancing Kunoichi: Then don't.
[22:25] R: It's said so
[22:26] R: And I should go for now
[22:26] Sword-Dancing Kunoichi: *nod*
[22:26] Sword-Dancing Kunoichi: Be well.
[22:26] R: And also you
[22:26] Sword-Dancing Kunoichi: As well as you can, and chose to be.
[22:26] R: And likewise so if so, let it be so

I treasure the people who don't argue with me that I'm going to die.

[03:31] Sword-Dancing Kunoichi: There are very few times in my life when the universe stops.
[03:31] Sword-Dancing Kunoichi: When i can't see the outcome.
[03:31] Sword-Dancing Kunoichi: I do not know what's going to happen Friday.
[03:32] Shiny: Yes you do.
[03:32] Shiny: You will die.
[03:32] Shiny: You can't see past that because it isn't your life.
[03:32] Sword-Dancing Kunoichi: But I don't know what will happen after that.
[03:32] Shiny: Of course not.
[03:32] Shiny: Nobody can see past the end of their own life; there's nothing to see.
[03:33] Shiny: If that makes any sense.
[03:35] Shiny: You can't read the 400th page of a 300 page book. You *can* read the 100th page of the sequel though.
[03:35] Sword-Dancing Kunoichi: Yes.

I am saying goodbye to people. I don't like it, and am rather afraid.
People are saying goodbye back to me. I'm not sure if that frightens me more.

I have a quasi-will. To help people wrap up my affairs... just in case.
There will be an update, tomorrow, as soon as someone knows something.
No matter which way it goes. For those who are concerned. I will not just disappear without a goodbye.

previous entry: Meandering thoughts

next entry: Eulogy

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This scares me. ... *hug*

[Desiring Holiness|0 likes] [|reply]

i just wanted you to know that I'm here. *hugs* Prayers for you, to Jesus.

[queenoftheblankets|0 likes] [|reply]

i don't want you to die.

*Hugs*

[Lady VenomStar|0 likes] [|reply]

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