1. The things you're grateful to have
Spring. Home. A netbook. Enough disposable credit to buy the netbook, and flexible enough finances to afford the credit. Opiates. Hope. Something resembling tears. Clothes that fit and look good on me. A horrible dye job that looks fabulous on me. Friends. A future I can believe in. Correction.
2. The things you're grateful NOT to have
Bedrest. As much a need for opiates. Complications. A currently active psychotic state. An eviction notice. Any current ultimatums. Slack.
3. What you don't like about yourself
How locked up fear or anger can make me over things that should be done.
4. How you can change what you don't like about yourself
I really haven't a clue. If I was doing it consciously on purpose, there are things I could do, but it's hindbrain trying to protect me. I'm going to pick at the edges as best I can, and I'm open for advice...
Okay... there's the rit, which I can have faith will help because it has everytime. There's the timer... it might be easier to convince me to do something, than to do everything. Otherwise I think I need to try harder to actually listen to what I'm saying rather than try to bully myself into thing, because it really seems like I react exactly the same when I do it as when other people do, and that's by getting belligerent. Which is counterproductive.
5. Your greatest qualities
I am introspective and self-aware and strive always for improvement. I am loving and kind. I am good with children, because I treat them like humans without expecting them to be adults. I am intelligent, inquisitive and bright. I am stubborn. I am moral, and conscious of my obligations. I am musical. I am joyful, and I radiate light.
6. Your life goals
I aim to be physically stable, so that I might achieve some of my plans. I aim to have a gypsy van, preferably renovated by me. I aim to be a property owner. I aim to claim a safe-haven for those who may need such, both spiritually and physically. I aim to make a difference in my community. I aim to be a teacher and to work the crisis line. I aim to belong to a charity in which I may "adopt" a needy child, and I wish to foster children of need within my own home. I aim to have biological children of my own, and a Family full of frith and as emotionally health as any group of people can hope to be. I aim to be self-reliant to the extent that it's feasible, and settle for no less than quality when I need to hire out for what it's impractical for me to do myself. I aim to be able to look at myself in the mirror, to no longer sell out myself, and be someone that people may look up to.
7. How yesterday's problems are today's motivation
I slept enough yesterday, so today I will accomplish things. There's no sense beating myself up for what can't be changed, just put my chin up and walk on.
8. What you want to do today
I will be of help. I will pry my hands off my computer so mom may try it out. I will go for a walk. I will set up for the rit. I will make sure I get enough sleep. I will attempt to only take a pill when I need it, since I am not in as much pain today. I will be content in myself, and not fixate on what is missing.
9. How you can make someone else's day a little brighter
Socialize. Dad is so happy when he sees me up and smiling. Help. Mom is always grateful to not do everything herself.
10. You only have one life.
One day at a time. Today is a good day. |
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