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Emotional Tautology
by Chapter Finished

previous entry: Blessings, Boasts and Thoughts (January 12th, 2009)

next entry: A comment I left

Morning Thoughts (January 14th, 2009)

01/14/2009

1. The things you’re grateful to have
Sight. Hearing. Taste. Touch. Smell. Movement in all my limbs. A mind that mostly functions. A roof over my head. A gramma who's still alive and doing VERY well. Food to eat. Hope, eternally. Friends. A webcam. A warning system that operates through the emotion of fear to keep me from getting myself into too much trouble. Running water and hydro and internet and everything else that makes the 21s century the only one I'd want to live in.

2. The things you’re grateful NOT to have
An election. A funeral to attend. An eviction notice. Snow. Many responsibilities. Cancer. Kittens, or a hormonal female cat. Forced independence.

3. What you don’t like about yourself
I'm afraid of myself.

4. How you can change what you don’t like about yourself
At this point? Therapy. Iunno. I bought a DBT workbook... it comes highly recommended. Otherwise, I'm probably going to end up doing the same things I always did, in an attempt to protect others. God though, I wish I wasn't so sick.

5. Your greatest qualities
Funny. Persistent. Loving. Encouraging. Methodical. Spontaneous. Living in a constant semi-harmonious state of juxtaposition? Humble.

6. Your life goals
I want to run for office, municipal or federal (never provincial, I don't know why...). I want to have a family. And a Family. I want to be respected and known. I want to own a home. I want to be healthy, and stably interdependent. I want to overhaul a van into a gypsy wagon and drive across the continent. I want to be a foster mom. I want to minister. I still kinda want to help women birth their own babies. I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror.

7. How yesterday’s problems are today’s motivation
My class was cut an hour short because of the storm, so I shall just study harder today. I will continue to focus on becoming the person I want to be, so that someday when I have evidence that someone loves me, I will no longer mourn or fear.

8. What you want to do today
Wash the bathtub. Make something for dinner, that isn't Krappy dinner. Write down everything I need for the doctor's appointment tomorrow. Pack for doctor's appointment. Email Jonas. Buy eggs and milk and possibly salsa. Make grocery list? Pilates! I mean it, srsly!

9. How you can make someone else’s day a little brighter
Well... I beat myself with my textbook on the webcam for Ari's gratification... what more is needed from me today?

10. You only have one life
And only one moment. Ready, set, GO!

previous entry: Blessings, Boasts and Thoughts (January 12th, 2009)

next entry: A comment I left

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