1. The things you’re grateful to have
Family. Kittens (oh my God has Mew gotten big...). Kid hugs. A class to go to. Hot water and hydro. Food.
2. The things you’re grateful NOT to have
Work today. AIDS. The fallout of a real economic depression.
3. What you don’t like about yourself
I'm a procrastinator. *laugh* Daddy taught me that word in grade four. Naming it didn't help. Stupid perfectionism. Case in point? I've been doing this list for over an hour now, and I'm on question three. This really shouldn't be that big a deal, and it was fun, before I decided I HAD to do it. Now it's... frustrating. Because it's repetitive and that's boring.
4. How you can change what you don’t like about yourself
Flylady says timers. I do know that jobs expand to fit the time available, and since I have nothing to do today except school... plus this is a good way to avoid studying... Blah. Firm time restraints. Routines. Adequate sleep, because sleepiness makes it hard to concentrate. Also good food. ADD much? Iunno.
5. Your greatest qualities
I'm loyal. I'm loving. I hold myself to the same measure I hold everyone else to. I am introspective, and analyzing. I am financially pragmatic. I'm a visionary, while grounded in reality (maybe too much reality now, to compensate for too much visionary in the past). I'm very good with children (I am less good with adults, perhaps because I expect them to be adults and am constantly disappointed?). I am accepting and tolerant, without becoming overly accommodating or morally bankrupt. I have a thirst for knowledge, and while I am secure enough in my conclusions to be willing to debate them, I am also willing to be wrong (although not always gracefully or immediately, it's a work in progress a'ight?) and to change when proved thus.
6. Your life goals
I aim to make a difference in my community, whether it be politically (something I've seriously been considering recently, as I am VERY angry right now) (and another tangent, why is it that I'm only interested in municipal or federal politics, not provincial? Have I just given up on anything coming out of Toronto ever making sense? Or do I just not want to live in Toronto...  ) or just socially. I aim to have children, and raise them in such a way as they do not need a decade of therapy after they move out. I aim to own property, and eventually be moderately self-sustaining (off the grid, yes. Grow all my own food, not unless society crumbled kplzthx). I aim to overhaul a vehicle as near as possible completely on my own, and I aim to manually convert a van into a gypsy waggon, for cross-continental travel purposes (possibly the same vehicle, maybe not). I aim to become the person people think I am, to be a personification of my ideals, and to be grounded enough in myself that I can look myself in the mirror, no longer want to itch myself out of my own skin, and no longer feel the urge to self-terminate.
7. How yesterday’s problems are today’s motivation
I'm too old to go on two hours sleep. Also, I'm pretty decent with dealing with very sick children. I think I'll be an okay mommy.
8. What you want to do today
I want to do well on tonight's test, my intense aversion to studying notwithstanding. I'd like to get to talk to Ari. I'd kinda like to connect with Ryan, but I'll settle for calling him tomorrow when I have more time, if necessary. I should arrange for more opiates, but I'm really upset that I'm out already and so putting that off too.
9. How you can make someone else’s day a little brighter
If I can manage to catch Ari, that will make her day better. I'm playing with my poor ignored kittens, so they're happier. Man, I tell you... I've never met a cat that NEEDS a toddler in the house, quite like Mew.
10. You only have one life
Everything is beautiful, in its own way. Like the starry summer nights or the snow-covered winter's day. |
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