73. It’s not the end
2-18-04
last night I drank enough to drown
wasn’t sure what I found
I saw Curt Cobain and Mickey Mantle
both told me to hold a candle
even in the cold November rain
it would cure my pains
someone will find me
no matter how dark life may seem
I saw a kid, learning how to fly
from a second story window, he jumped, and just closed his eyes
I asked him why, his reply
"dude, don’t you know that all my hero's died"
saw a girl with cuts jumping rope
sad eyes, she had no hope
asked her what had happened
promise my self to some boy
he promised he would give me joy
stopped jumping and sat on the ground
through tears he took me to town
again and again, he said he loved me
was I a fucked up run away not to see
taking advantage of me
I looked at a mirror and didn’t recognize the face
tears stained cheeks and messed up hair, what a disgrace
had no one to turn to
took some pills and I was through
woke up in my bed
brother looked angry, mom looks as she was dead
wasn’t sure what to say.
mom left, bro staid
asked all the questions
I didn’t want to give him my reservation
he pulled up a chair
came close, I could hear
brother I love you man
you have so much, just hold my hand
I know that life seems start
but we have so much to do, got to see all those ball parks
I just nodded as he continued
it will get better, just see my views
there is a woman out there for you
I chuckled and said screw you
we both laughed but I know he is right
I have to find my fight
I have much more to live I have my life
I will throw away my pills and knife
promised my brother I would get help
he said he would go with me, love, ya I felt
hitting my arm he said he would let me rest
getting up, I know it will be a test
you get some sleep
and promises you better keep
walking to the door
said, I got a question, just one more
so you said you saw Curt Cobain?
I looked at him again
just smile and said
he is still rocking with the guitar, even dead
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