WhY? [[POEM]]

11/18/2010

Why do I continue to run back to him?
He's hurt me so much, both emotionally and physically
He calls me a whore, says I'm useless
but I keep running back.
do I believe him? do I believe I'm useless?
do I beleive i'm ugly and noon e would want me?
Kinda. I tell him I dont. I lied. I believe him
more than ever. Secretly.
If I continue to go back to him,
does that make me a whore? ugly? useless?
desperate? I'm not sure.
I tried to drop him from my life.
My "friends" don't like him,
they say he's no good for me,
but I keep going BACK
all he does is use me, leaves me, ignores me
and finds someone new.
I'm stupid, I regret it, but i keep going BACK.
WHY!?
Half the time I'm not sober,
the other half, I wish I wasn't.
He Promises he'll pick some up, but NEVER does.
He Lies. He does what he WANTS.
TAKES whats he WANTS.
and LEAVES me with
NOTHING.

Then I sit along, and the cycle starts all over
is it TRUE? is that all i'm good for?
that and NOTHING else?
MAYBE thats why I feel so shiity.
When I start to get feelings for someone
..I'M SCARED...
I'm not good enough
I'll mess things up
I'll get hurt, I'll get used
they'll take what they want.., and leave me with
..NOTHING..
"your ugly" "noone wants you"
"i'm the only one who'd ever do anything with you"
Is it true? Am I destined to be with this person?
though he treats me like shit?
My whole body hurts.
my hands, my knees, my back
my legs, my thighs, my eyesSTING with
..tears..
my body SCREAMS out in pain.
the bleeding and bruising starts. WHY!?
Why do I let him do this to me?
Why won't I stop it once and for all?
WHY!?