This poem I wrote 12 years ago, when friends lost their two-day old baby boy....
Death of a New Rose
I love you my new one.
Though I have only dreams now.
As the stillness crushes me
Through my tears I see the never things...
Read you your favorite book
Teach you to catch.
Laugh at your antics.
Your never first step...
I only held you for such a short time.
Though I stared into your closed eyes
I have nothing to know of you
Except your soft cry
The color of your skin
The new pout on your face.
I know now, more than any
What it is to be emptied
With the flood of my tears
I am emptied and scarred.
Should then, I have saved me the pain
Held my emotions in reserve?
What is love that has hardly a face
Only barely a touch
All held in a future that now
Will never be!
Love is not an easy thing.
To step into that circle
Has disaster lurking
Always and eventually.
But would I then not love?
Make a dry dessert in my heart?
The finest thing in my life
Are those whom I have loved
Poured out the feeling on....
Lavished my heart...
Some returned a part
Some for a time.
Some not at all.
This one, whose face I hardly knew
And of that face, who hardly knew me
I spun dreams and hopes.
Vistas from the mountaintops.
Now broken dream,
Lifeless and gone.
I stand where I can see plainly
How I have robbed from pain
Moments of joy
No, I have not been a fool
To give when I cannot withhold
Give what must be given
Loved each, not out of control
But understood the risk
And better yet, the reward.
I would live my life in the moments
That would otherwise be the wasteland
Watch the flower die before me
Then to never see it bloom.
I would not curse the desert rain
That makes from emptiness
Sudden burst; glories of life.
How would we know
Life's moments of pleasure
Without seasons of pain?
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