Aphria let out a laugh. “That would be a bad idea. I just woke up and I’m on an empty stomach.” And she could see where the path would leave them if intoxication took her over. She was too vulnerable right now and would accept his affection in forms she shouldn’t.
Devlin nodded and took her glass. He poured himself another before sticking the bottle back into the pantry. He threw it into the back of his throat and swallowed before he could even taste it. “Let me cook you breakfast then. To repay you for interrupting your sleep.”
“And because you feel sorry for me.” She added the last part. That little bit of alcohol must’ve picked that moment to make its presence known. “You don’t need to do this. We’re not together anymore.”
The man seemed to think hard before speaking next. Probably trying to come up with the best way not to upset her. She felt bad that she was putting him in that position. But there was no need to try to hide their differences now. “We both just lost someone we care about. I wouldn’t mind the company and a bite to eat.” He got the plates out from the cabinet and began setting the small kitchen table. “Besides, you used to love my amazing cooking skills.”
Those eyes. She started melting again. “Because they were a rarity. I always cooked for you boys.”
“I never asked you to.” He immediately retorted back, but this time slightly more serious than their normal banter. “Never once.” She thought back and realized he was right. Her brother never really asked either. It must’ve been just a daily habit to put dinner on the table for them. “Is that something you believed? Did you really think I expected that out of you?”
“No.” The feeling of guilt crept in.
Devlin seemed so exasperated. She knew where this conversation was going. “You should take that one off your list of the reasons to not be with me.” His alcohol must’ve went to his mind at that moment. She could forgive him for that, but there was a fight starting to brew. She would have no choice but to partake in it if it got more hostile. He was making her guilty and angry and she did not need those feelings. Not when she felt so heavy with others.
“I don’t have a list.” She spoke quietly and was proud of herself for it.
“Then why?” He stopped setting the table and approached her chair. He knelt down in front of her and took her hands. “I know you love me. I see it in your eyes.”
“Please.” Those blasted tears started to form again. “Not now.” She hated having this conversation with him. She just couldn’t do it at that moment.
He nodded and let go. “Forgive me. I think the grief just needed something to pacify it.”
“It’s fine.” Her voice cracked. “I’m restraining myself from jumping into your arms and asking you to hold me. But that would be a bad idea.” If they started their relationship again, it would just end in more tears. She couldn’t go through with it again. They just didn’t have the same mentality. He had so many free thoughts towards life. She was so much more structured.
“You can, you know.” He looked her in the eyes. He had to go for the eyes. She never did tell him that though. The one main weakness she had for him. He probably knew.
“I know.” She nodded and embraced him. After a moment she let go and smiled. “Now where’s my food?”
He gave her that handsome smile and stood up. “Get yourself cleaned and dressed. To be honest, I don’t think you will find yourself presentable for breakfast. I should have everything ready when you come back out.”
If he was always like this, he would make a great husband. But she knew it was just a fluke. He would return to his old self after the initial mourning of Arland was over. But for that time, she decided just to accept it. They both needed someone. Might as well be each other. “Alright. I expect top restaurant performance.”
Devlin laughed. “Nothing can beat your cooking though.” He offered her a hand and helped pull her up. He kissed her cheek again and gave her another embrace. Her heart gave another flutter. She hated it.
“Thank you.” She found herself saying.
“For what?” He took her by the shoulders.
“Being here.”
Devlin rolled his eyes again at her. It’s something he did far too often. “Princess, I have told you that I will always be here. First, you are my best friend’s younger sister. He would haunt me in my sleep if I didn’t take care of you for him. And second, no one, well besides him, knows you as well as I do. And can put up with you as well as I can.” She opened her mouth to retort, but he held a finger on top. “And third, I like being around you.” That smile. It stopped her from speaking. “Just being around you makes this so much easier. I just wish I can do the same for you.” Why.. How.. did he always do this to her? “Go get presentable.” He took away the finger from her mouth, but all she could do was nod. She couldn’t look into his eyes anymore and took off to her room.
She closed the door behind her and realized that she was alone with her thoughts again. Arland was still plaguing her mind. It was still so hard to believe that he was gone from this life. From her life. She found the tears starting to form again, but pushed them back. Devlin was right. It was good to have company. As much as she hated to admit it, he was the one grounding her at that moment. She would still be in bed wallowing away. That wasn’t a very productive way to live.
He was also right about her appearance. When she looked into her mirror, she found the woman staring back at her a complete mess. Her eyes and nose were red and swelling. Her long hair was in strings. This was unacceptable. She was so much better than this.
On top of her dresser was a water pitcher and a bowl. She poured some water in it to wash her face. She took her favorite brush and sprayed some of her favorite scent onto it and proceeded to brush out the knots in her hair. She must’ve been tossing all night because there were much more than usual. She soaked her eyes with a cool rag until the redness softened. She was never one for much face make up. Her cheeks were naturally blushed, and her green eyes popped out without any help, so she usually left her face alone. But today she covered up what was left of the redness with some powder she had just in case she needed to dress like a noble woman. It happened from time to time in case she needed to sneak into a party or a dinner to thieve what she could.
From then, she dressed herself simply. A light blue shirt and brown pants seemed to be fitting for the occasion. She would change later if other plans were made. She checked herself over in the mirror again and was satisfied with what she saw.
She realized that it didn’t take too long to get ready, and that Devlin was probably still cooking. He wanted to be done before she was out so she decided to be nice and give him some more time. She looked around her room for something to clean. Her bed needed straightening because she didn’t fix it before she left for Arland’s. She made it neat then organized everything on her dresser. She picked up the clothes she left on the floor and put it with the rest that needed to be washed. When she was satisfied with her room and found nothing else to do, she figured enough time had gone by. She looked herself over in the mirror again, brushing her hair one last time.
She left her room and closed the door behind her. Her breath was taken away for a moment when she noticed a figure in Arland’s room sitting on his bed. But she realized after a moment that it was just Dev. He was reading something. “What are you doing?”
She seemed to startle him because he jumped. Then laughed at his foolishness. “Collecting some books your brother owes me.” He smiled. “I didn’t mean to invade his room..”
She looked down and realized that all the books and papers had been picked up. “You are just as welcome in here as I am.. What are you reading?” It seemed to be a piece of paper of sorts. She sat on the bed next to him.
“You smell nice.” He sniffed at her hair. It tickled her ear giving her tingles down her spine. She brushed his face away with her shoulder.
“Quit.” She rolled her eyes.
“What? I always loved that fragrance on you.” He laughed at her. Aphria scoffed and stood up. Her stomach seemed to make a noise on cue. Devlin collected all the papers and the books and stood up as well. “To the table.” He grinned at her.
She eyed him for a moment before turning and heading back to the front quarters. On the table, two plates of steak, eggs, and fruit with a glass of milk were set nice and neat. “Dev!” She laughed. “I did not know you can do all this. I can’t yell at you for wasting my good meat now.”
“There is much you have yet to learn about me.” He sat all the books down then held out the chair for her as she sat. He took his place at the opposite end. She eyed the chair next to her. It was always Arland’s place at the table. It seemed so odd without him. “To the gods out there…” He began praying. Aphria quickly focused her attention. “…thank you for each day we have with each other. Please welcome Arland into your home. You are now just as blessed with his presence as we were when he was here. And I know it might take a while to warm up to that personality of his, but I swear he means well by his lame jokes… I digress. Thank you for this food.”
Aphria was giggling now. “His jokes were always lame weren’t they?”
“Remember when he was trying to court that one friend of yours?” He laughed, taking a bite of his eggs.
“Rei? Oh goodness. It took me so long to convince him that she wasn’t interested. She just couldn’t take one more bad riddle from him.” She cut a little piece of her steak. It was perfectly pink the way she liked it. How did he remember? She put it in her mouth and the juices just dissolved. It was heaven. “How did you learn to cook steak like this?”
Devlin took on a mischievous smirk. He then gave her a shrug. “Just something I grew up learning how to do.”
“What else don’t I know about you?” She laughed.
There was a twinkle of sadness in one of his eyes that bothered her. But he got rid of it quickly so she put it out of her mind. If he wanted to share, he would. “You have forever to find out. I will give you forever.”
She ignored that comment as she does most remarks implicating that annoying topic. The rest of their meal was peaceful. Almost enjoyable if the lingering mourning over Arland wasn’t there. They reminisced many stories growing up with him. Some of which both of them experienced. Some of which only one. Hearing Devlin’s tales of her brother put a new light on him. She always knew he was full of risks and adventure, but never knew how many stupid things he’d actually gotten away with. But how smart he was getting himself out of those predicaments.
“They actually believed he was the cook?” Both their plates were empty as were the milk glasses. “No one recognized him?”
“Definitely not. In that town and with those kind of rich snobs, the ones that do pay attention to the traveling news, probably never really cared enough about the stories to even remember the drawing of him in the paper.” He stood up from the table and collected the dishes. “He got away with at least fifty handbags at the brunch. It was miraculous.”
“And what were you doing?” She was engaged in this story now.
Devlin chuckled and took on a look of guilt. “Just sitting at the table pretending to be one of them. Arland did most of the hard work.” He began pumping water from the inside well into a bucket.
“Don’t wash those.” She scoffed and got up. “You’ve been more than kind to me today. Let me do this later.”
“You?” He mocked shock. “Put off cleaning until later? Oh dear.”
“Oh hush.” She eyed him. “So I’m not myself today. I have an excuse.”
Devlin shook his head. “Let me wash these.” A loud pounding on the door interrupted the argument that they were about to partake in. “While you see who your rude visitor is.”
There was no way she could win. She went to answer the door. Three guards stood there carrying a long large box. “Aphria Ronan?” His deep voice irritated her. He seemed to just want to be intimidating, but it wasn’t working.
“Yes.” She didn’t like guards being at her door. They all seemed to just scowl at her. She was probably doing the same back.
They dropped the box in front of her, turned and walked away. It hit her then. This was Arland. She knew it was policy to keep the bodies over night to wash them. It was an honor to the gods no matter what wrong the person did in their life, it still had to be cleaned to be buried into the earth. Not that the gods would really smite any living or dead spirit for having anything to do with being dirty, but it was just a way of respect.
She didn’t know what they did with them the next day. She got her answer. She just stared at it down at her feet. “Who was it?” Devlin appeared behind her.
“They brought me Arland.” Her voice was low, almost in a whisper.
Dev was silent for a moment. She tore her eyes away from her brother’s cheap casket and gazed at him. He seemed horrified and sad. “I will take him to the clergy.” He looked up at her. “You need not worry about this. And we will have a remarkable ceremony to honor him.”
How could she ever repay him for this? She leaned in close and kissed his lips once. “Thank you.”
He was taken back for a moment. Part of her wanted to kiss him again. And she could see in his eyes that all of him wished it as well. But he was much more respectful than that. “Your mind is not in the right place to make good decisions.” He informed her. “Are you to be alright alone, or do you wish me to find you some company while I’m gone?”
Aphria shook her head. “I’ll be fine. Thank you. And thank you for wonderful company and a wonderful meal. Will I see you tomorrow?” He was taken back again. He probably meant to come right back, but it wasn’t a wise choice. She hadn’t spent this much time around him for months. She couldn’t fall back into old habits. Especially now when all she wanted was for him to hold her.
“Of course.” He nodded. “You know where I live if you need me.” He embraced her so tightly. “Please come knocking anytime you want.”
It was comforting to know that she would not be alone if she chose it. But she wanted to be by herself just then. “You know you are welcome here too.” How could she be so selfish? Arland was as much a brother to Dev as he was to her. If Dev needed company, he had to know that she would always be there to give it to him. She wasn’t that heartless. But he was always much more stronger than her. Though she was the more sensible one.
She continued for a few moments in his embrace. Especially when she caught sight of the casket again. It was so hard to leave his arms. But she tore herself away. He linked arms with her and walked her back into the house. “Looks as if you get to do your own dishes.” He shrugged. “You win this time.”
Aphria smirked. He could be so immature. But he did make her smile. He hugged her one last time before gathering the books and papers and heading out the door to his carriage. He gave her a wave shutting the door behind him. He knew that she probably didn’t want to see that casket any longer. Let alone seeing him pick it up and put it in his carriage.
She turned away from the door back to the inside of the cabin. The sudden feeling of loneliness crept in as it did the night before when she came home. Maybe she would walk over to see Dev later. She contemplated going to the beach, but grew slightly nauseated at the thought. Sunset would never symbolize peace anymore. She decided she didn’t want to think anymore. She walked over to the dishes and began cleaning them.
When she was finished, she was back to thinking again. Maybe she should just go out thieving. Get her mind off of grief. And she always enjoyed stealing from the guards. Tonight, she would enjoy it even more. She had to come up with the greatest robbery ever. Her brother would be proud.
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