I've crashed again. Within the next two weeks, I will be back on short hours, or more extensively: 22 hours.
And that's not enough.
I won't be able to live on that, barely cover rent for that matter. When I took away everything I need in order to survive in one week (Rent, Transportation and Food, though I will undoubtedly remember something else later), I've got barely 40 Euro leeway. If anything goes wrong, I don't have the money to deal with it.
And it also means that I won't be able to move out. Unless I somehow manage to find a place where I only need to pay 300 Euro a month (which won't happen), then...I just don't have the money.
I've already got a worrying credit card debt to deal with. When I went to the doctor a few weeks before, due to what he decided to call Vertigo, even though both of us knew that it wasn't. If I had Vertigo, then the headaches would only be affecting half of my head, not the entirety of it. I had to put it on the card, along with all the meds he said I needed and it all added up. I now need to somehow pay over 200 Euro, before the next month, and dear Goddess...I don't know how I will.
I'm just so tired of this, especially when talking to my sister, she suddenly declared, 'You don't like your job, do you?' And I tried to quickly defend myself, saying, 'Of course I do' but then I realised that...I don't. I hate my job.
I've been there for four years, and I still haven't been promoted. And any time I have, circumstances, none of my doing, have meant that I have been demoted again.
I hate my section, I just want Children's Back now. But the two girls running it are happy there and I'm not going to ask to take over just because I hate my current section.
And, I've been passed over again. I've been begging my Manager for more hours for the past three months, ever since I lost it because of my Depression and then due to the Accusations against the two girls, and have been told that all he can give me are the twenty hours. Three days ago I looked at the Rota and discovered that the Managers have made it that two Part-Timers, people who had the exact same hours as me, have suddenly been made Full-Timers. They work 35 hours a week, and I've been left with 22.
I'm beyond pissed at them.
I'm actually close to crying. I've already cried once, and now...
I just can't take this anymore. The hours could have been divided between the rest of us Part-Timers. There was no need for them to promote two Part-Timers to Full Time and leave the rest of us out.
And to make it worse, the Full-Timer will be starting on the 20th. And the two new Full-Timers remain with their full 35 hours.
I stay with my 22.
I just...I just don't know what to do anymore. The Manager knows my situation. He knows that I'm desperate for more hours because I'm barely making enough to live on. Even when he gave me more hours, he boosted me up to 30 for three weeks, that went down again. But that didn't happen to anyone else.
I think he might actually be trying to push me out.
Kya |
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