....then such fears would not be exterminated, but there would be the supports in order to make sure that all Creatures made it through. Too much is wrong with this world, too much needs to be fixed or at least acknowledged as needing to be looked at, and for there still be to be such suffering after all these years... Many do try to make such changes. They fill the televisions, the radio, the pavements and internet and yet when any are confronted with such information, it is easier to ignore.
It is not until one Creature is surrounded by such misfortune that it is actually taken into account. The loss of something that may be viewed as menial, as something that caused great 'anger' and 'grief' still affects greatly when the realisation suddenly hits. It may be a week later, it may be longer, but when the mind finally lets through all the loss that has been stored up behind a great barrier then...
It is only then that the tears that have built up explode. An allowance for the tears to flood, even if it is only for a few minutes before they are choked back again. There is no sanctuary granted, even for that small amount of fragile behaviour.
Always be strong. Never show weakness. Never allow anyone to be able to pick up any sign, as it will only result in harshness. In a severe wave of anger for that Creature allowing themselves to damage themselves by...
Only one such instance was allowed for myself. I let those hot tears stream down my face for a few moments. Allowed the wall I had built around my thoughts over losing so much in such a short amount of time to crack just enough to allow that...
And never since.
Unhealthy? Yes.
But life has to go on. It doesn't matter how one feels, there are still all these roads that need to be followed in order for there to be some kind of structured future.
I no longer have a job, and so I need to frequent Social Security in order to try and get some kind of wage while I wait to see if I either get another job within the company, or if I need to find another. Return again and again, trying to get it to be processed when my change of address has made everything even more complicated.
I have had to change my address because I broke up with my Partner. I could not remain there and so moved out, thereby losing my home. I can not apply for rent help as my parents have granted me room and board until they have to rent it.
And so the circle continues. I still have belongings remaining at my old apartment, but have no car and none who can help. I go around and around and it just never stops.
I wish for the world to stop spinning. Either to let me gather my thoughts, or else...
Let me off.
It is a known quote from someone, yet I can not remember who.
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