I'm having panic attacks for the past two days. I thought yesterday that I was going to work today, except when I called up they told me that it was actually on Wed that I was expected in so another day of worrying. I'm just...
I mentioned this in the entry before but I just can't calm myself down. I so badly just want to curl into my bed and refuse to acknowedge that there is a world out there. I want to hide away and pretend that I don't have to admit that there is anything that can harm me.
And I know that this is in my head. I know that this is a panic attack, and that I just need to calm myself down but there is no one I can talk to and my bloody chat is disabled so I can't talk to anyone elsewhere. And I just want to cry.
I just want to cry and scream and...
And I so badly want to cut.
I hate this. I just want 'out'.
I want OUT!
Kya |