It is so hard to write anything of substance when my life is lacking any substance. It's the same every day. School, home, nap, dinner, homework bed. EVERY DAMN DAY. Oh oh oh, I forgot. Tuesday and Thursdays I take the bus home. That is definately the highlight of my week. Yep. Hopping on a circulating trolley to get downtown, waiting another half hour or more for a bus that has lessened it crew to 2 busses running an hour apart. Listening to creepy old people talking about whatever they choose. Clutching my purse a little closer as I sit in the bus stop with the panhandlers shaking their coin cups.
I only realized just recently how sheltered I keep myself. Ever since I was laid off, I haven't had ANY social life and I have been able to spend more time at home. So yeah, it keeps me on top of my homework, but my bank account is crying out for another job. When I had my job up at the bookstore, I had friends. I had fun. I had a reason to come in despite the bullshit that I dealt with on a daily basis. But now that I don't even have the drama, I have seen that I don't have much of anything. I apologize to those on here who are my friends and who may take offense to this, but I need something more than a screen and a bunch of keys. I need to be able to go out, to find something interesting. Whether or not it is just going for coffee or to the library. I NEED COMPANY. It's cute to say that my best friend is my 3 year old sister, but not when it's on a needed basis. I am going crazy and it's really bringing me down.
I NEED HELP. I NEED A JOB. I NEED A LIFE...and no, don't go poking fun at that because I'm at a point where I will seriously just break down...like now. I'm starting to tear up just thinking about how pitiful I am. No, I'm not looking for a pity party, I just need to get this all out. And let's just say, if this doesn't get better soon, there will be nothing more for me to write about as nothing new ever happens. I NEED OUT.
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