Often Found Lurking In Soup
by Lunar Sea

Guild Cheered Me Up

05/06/2009

Mostly by making me giggle. I think the ability to make someone giggle is truly precious.

On that note, I have a silly story to share.

I'm a LARPer, LARP standing for Live Action Role-Play. This means I like dressing up in weird clothes and pretending to be someone else every Saturday, fighting against evils trying to destroy the world with pretend weapons. It's brilliant. Everyone gets really into character and it's a little bit like an extreme form of improvisational theatre - fantastic, yo!

Last Saturday, we finished our day LARPing by having an In Character social - people just eating and drinking and chatting to each other as their respective characters. I was there as my succubus, the kit for which includes a corset, various bits of purple body paint and horns. Now, the horns are the cool bit - they're prosthetics stuck to the skin using spirit gum. They make the costume.

Afterwards, a bunch of us decided to go on to the local industrial/cyber/80s club. Naturally, I kept my costume on - figured I'd fit right in with horns and all. Normally I feel a bit out of place 'cause my clothes aren't especially interesting and I don't do myself up in UV paint, but tonight would be much more fun.

We get in. It's shockingly warm, particularly wearing a corset. Still, I'm dancing, and everything was going well, just having a laugh. Then I get this weird sensation above my right eye - a kind of wetness. Discretely put a hand to my forehead.

What I hadn't yet realised was that condensation had been building up inside the horn, and then mixing with the spirit gum, and had finally leaked out. And was now dripping down my face. Needless to say, it had a rather... distinct... texture.

I'm still trying to hide this. I look around - is someone whacking one off or something? Have I just been bukkaked in the middle of the dance floor? Being incredibly British about it, I carry on dancing as though nothing has happened, while hesitantly, fearfully, I put my hand to my nose to smell it.

Then the other horn goes. Now I have this stuff trickling down both sides of my face.

I smell it.
Not semen. Thank Christ. Hurry to the bathroom, wondering if I've been spat on or something, only to realise the source of this and carefully remove the horns.

Playing in the background the whole time? Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

Sometimes, my life makes me laugh.

previous entry: Hacked Off

next entry: Minor Irritants

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YES, YO - GOSH, EVEN THOUGH I DON'T SELF-HARM OR ANYTHING, I TOTALLY KNOW THE FEELING OF NOT BEING CLEAN ENOUGH TO GO OUT OF THE HOUSE. SO DEPRESSING! GOSH, YO - THIS MORNING MY ELECTRICITY RAN OUT AND I HAD TO GO TO THE SHOP TO BUY MORE (BEFORE I HAD A BATH, YO, BECAUSE NO HOT WATER UNTIL ELECTRICITY!). AND NOT ONLY WAS I UNBATHED, I ALSO HAD MY SILLY BROKEN GLASSES HANGING FROM A STRING AROUND MY NOSE! I FELT LIKE A VERITABLE TRAMP, YO! SUCH A RELIEF TO GET NEW FRAMES FOR MY GLASSES AGAIN TODAY - I FEEL HUMAN AGAIN!***CLICK MY EGGZ && BABY DRAGONZ, YO!

[ LADY PUCK|0 likes] [|reply]

That is pretty amusing, yo! And I had no idea you were a LARP! Gosh, I had no idea what a LARP was until I read this!! But sounds kinda fun! and RYC: YES! That happens all the time. And people look at me strangely because I'm pulling strange faces that totally don't fit the situation!! x

[The Ryan

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I was diagnosed with severe depression at the age of 16, I am now 20 years old. I fight everyday with the voices in my head, the ones that tell me I'm not good enough, or pretty enough, or smart enough. I fight with the voices that tell me I'm fat and ugly and I smell horrid and that no one in this world could possibly love me.

I know what it feels like to want to kill myself, to want to crawl into a hole and die. I know what it feels like to lay in bed for a week at a time, not wanting to talk to anyone, see anyone, eat anything or do anything besides lay there in my own self pity. I know what its like to feel like I am NOTHING IN THIS WORLD. . .

Now Im not saying you don't have the right to do whatever it takes to make yourself feel better but I kind of look at it this way. Why would you want to harm your own body, that was given to you, that is your precious gift from God. He doesn't want you to cut yourself to feel better. You should be proud of yourself that you have made it this far and have overcome a lot of things others can't even come close to saything they have experienced.

My dad has always told me that depression was just in my head. That I didn't have anything to be depressed about, and believe me it's not all in my head. If it was I would have fixed it already. I go to a community college and on the first day of my math class my teacher refered to negative numbers as depressed people. . . It's simple statements that draw it out, that can ruin a whole day for me.

I've just learned to grasp ahold of it, and to not let it overcome who I am. I don't want to end up in a psych ward or having to take medicines for the rest of my life. I want to be better for myself and for the people I love. I don't want my children to see me at my worst. . .

Thanks for the insight though. I never knew that depression and self harm were connected like that. And you're right, it feels good to actually be able to talk about it for once.

[feelinfuzzy|0 likes] [|reply]

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