I'm thinking of disappearing for a week. Not here, obviously, as that regularly happens just with the up and downs of life, but among my social group. Largely, this means I'm thinking of not logging on WoW for a week and switching my phone off.
I'm curious as to if I can actually do it. And I'm just... I'm in a real low right now. And I'm being stupid and immature and passive aggressive and I know it, but I can't quite bring myself to stop at the moment. I want to know if anyone will notice if I disappear for a week. That's how stupid and immature I'm being. There's this kind of ache in my chest and stomach and behind my eyes that feels like constant unhappiness, uneasiness, as though I'm about to cry at any moment.
Cutting eases it a little. It had been so damn long. I'd been doing really well. Slip up time again. It's always this time of year that I hit the low point. I just want to sleep and self harm and never have to think or feel.
I hate living with people who know me. I miss the anonymity of campus accommodation. Makes me want to run away. Don't come knocking on my door checking up on me. I'm soaking myself in blood right now. |
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