My husband is...Nuts.
Maybe not clinically nuts, but I think he's 'nuts'.
Every month he comes up with some new argument to have with me. (Every month during my period-talk about a pattern to bi polar behavior)
This month is laundry.
Yes. Laundry. As in clothes. Things that will eventually one day end up in the trash.
One thing you need to know about my husband is that you can't tell him ANYTHING. Seriously, if it's not what he WANTS to hear, then don't say it, because he gets NUTS.
So for 3 years I haven't said anything about his laundry folding technique. Which is basically to fold it in half until its the size of a golf ball. For 3 years I have simply, refolded everything. He doesn't fold laundry that often, and honestly, it's laundry. Who really cares?
The other day I was about to fold the laundry in the dryer but couldn't fit it into the hamper with all the laundry he had stuffed in there in the typical 'folded-into-the-size-of-a-golf-ball' stuff he had already 'folded'.
So, I made a joke.
Or, what I thought was a joke.
I started laughing playfully and said something along the lines of 'Man, who taught you how to fold laundry'
Instant Dick.
He starts to stalk out of the room, muttering something I didn't really hear over my own teasing laughter, and I joking said "oh, sure just run off, keep going on your ignorant ways instead of learning how to do it."
And that was it.
That was Thursday.
He didn't speak to me for 2 days after that. When I asked what was wrong he said nothing. Until Friday night when he finally told me I don't appreciate anything and I criticize him all the time. What? That's when he told me the silent treatment was about the laundry joke.
I was astonished. Who gets pissed off over laundry? I was JOKING! It wasn't like I went up to him and said "Hey fucker! This isn't how you do this, you dumbass! It's done like this! Idiot!"
Maybe that's what I need to do.
I was so irritated by this, he treated me like shit and ignored me for 2 days over Laundry? I just went to bed. Now he starts blowing my phone up with text messages. Seriously? We're both in the house! You wanna talk now? Come talk. I'm not hiding behind my cellphone like a coward.
I shut the phone off.
Saturday went on in mostly silence.
Sunday he's at work and blowing up my phone with text messages again. I told him how rediculous it is to be having a fight like this over something so irrelevant as laundry. Then he starts in on the "You hate me, you don't love me" song and dance. "Where do you get this stuff?"
So, I'm at the grocery store, trying to check out, my phone in binging and dinging off the hook, when I get out to the car I have 5 messages, and I read through them, get to the last one "What! You have nothing to say now?"
"I do have things to say, but believe it or not, the world does not revolve around you, I'm at the grocery store doing other things."
Then, I take the baby to the park. Again, same thing, 5 messages and the last one "What? Aren't you going to say anything"
"Once again, you are not the center of the universe. I'm at the park with Jake and I can't just ignore him to entertain this rediculous argument."
I finaly got so aggervated I said "You know what, no one can possiably be THIS pissed off about something as insignificant as LAUNDRY. Obviously, there is something else and you are just picking what ever you can to start an argument. Why don't you just be man enough to say it? Stop hiding behind this manipulative nonsense and get to the point? If you don't want to be in this marriage then just say so!"
Then he starts going on about how I must not be happy because he isn't my 'type' and I like people who travel and so on and so on.
I don't even know where he GETS this stuff???!!! WTF???!!! How do we go from joking around about laundry to me hating him? I don't even know what to say to him.
This is EVERY month. Last month it was because I tried to fix the toilet and I didn't come get him to do it. "Why, didn't you call me? You don't have any faith in me!"
No, it's because I actually have my OWN two hands and am perfectly capable of doing it MYSELF. Why do I have to call you?
Another time it was over CD's. Yes, compact disks. I asked him if when he took my car, that if he listened to my cd's if he would please put them away when he was done with them instead of leaving them on the passenger seat.
He FLIPPED out over that. "WELL I LEAVE THEM ON THE SEAT!!!"
"I know you leave them on the seat. That's what I'm asking you not to do. They are falling off and getting lost and scratched."
We almost got divorced over this. because "He can't do anything right" and I "Criticize him too much"
I'm sorry, I just thought maybe that since you don't have the curtisy to respect my things ON YOUR OWN then perhaps I should politly ASK. All I did was ASK. And this is what I get.
I wanted to say, Buddy, you don't even know how much I DON'T criticize you! I could start harping on you for the fact you NEVER turn the faucet off in the bathroom, even though I've reminded you about it 100 times, and I have to follow you in there to make sure its off. Or How you constantly track mud through the house on your shoes, and then I have to scrub it off. Or you never shut the lights off, or you leave the soda on the counter and it goes flat, instead of simply pouring a cup and then putting the bottle away. How many times have I shown you how to work the diaper genie? Jake is two, you still can't figure it out!!??? The list goes on and on and on.
But I don't say anything because THIS is what happens. Instead, I let you carry on in your ignorant ways and I go back and REDO it. All of it. All the time. Everyday. Doubling and tripling my own work.
Fucking asshole.
Fucking idiot.
Get over yourself.
Get over the fact that you're NOT AS PERFECT AS YOU THINK YOU ARE!!!!
Man up, you coward! You got some thing to say, then FUCKING SAY IT. Don't stomp around for 3 days like a two year old who never got his nap, open your big mouth and FUCKING talk! Don't hid behind your Android like a 5th grader passing a note. You're almost 30 years old. Time to grow a pair. Just because someone says "hey, there is a DIFFERENT way to do this, then the way you are doing it!" doesn't mean any one is criticizing you! Doesn't mean anyone hates you!
Grow the FUCK up!!!! |
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