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Emerald's Diary
by Emerald

next entry: Who I am hates who I am.

Numb

12/28/2009

I feel numb... all the time.

Numb to pain.

Numb to pleasure.

Numb to emotion.

Numb to life.

I hate it. I am broken. I do not know who I am anymore. I do not know what caused this... I'm just a lost soul wandering the earth without a clue how I got here.

I question the meaning of life, and why I am still here every day. I have yet to find an answer that I like.

I do not know where I have gone. I woke up one day and realized the world has no meaning to it at all. No matter how hard I try I will fail. Nothing I can do will make an impact. I am merely a shadow to the world.

I want to feel life again. I want to know why I feel this way. Through the numb all I can do is cry. I cry in stressful situations, typical situations, and just anything. I cannot control my tears. My tears control me.

My friends think I am crazy. Perhaps I am. However, it is impossible to acknowledge that when you have truly gone insane... so I am not there yet.

I do not expect comments, but I would like a few words of advice.

'Til then, I will be resting in my clouded reality with nothing my rain falling onto my cold, wet, tortured existence.

next entry: Who I am hates who I am.

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Right now, I am about in the same boat. I question my sanity, seriously, at the moment. The depression and anxiety is...horrible. I can't really give good advice (it would be pretty hypocritical). It's good if you can find someone to talk to, who you trust, sometimes just to get things out. Having a journal is good like that, too. And most people around here aren't judgemental so you can write and feel like no one's really gonna think bad about you. Most people will try to offer advice, even if a lot of it may be useless to you, it might be helpful!

[beautiful.nightmareStar|0 likes] [|reply]

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