What to do now?

06/17/2009

Okay so I have come to realize that I am one messed up girl. Ever since I moved I have changed and I really don't like it. I wish that I was my old self that didn't worry so much about things. it is putting a tole on everyone that I love and I don't know how much more I can take of myself. My boyfriend and I always agrue over the stupidist things and I wish that we didn't. He is everything that I could ask for and I hate it that we hurt eachother by some of the things we say. The only reason why I moved was because of him. If we hadn't of met and he hadn't asked for my number I would probably we living a lie still. I always thought that this one guy and I would be together but that didnt happen and it turned out to be a good thing because I am now in love with someone who loves me for me and tries to work things out with me. But anyways. Some things have been going through my mind and I need answers.
1. I want to know why I get mad at my bf a lot
2. I want to know if I am able to have kids or not. If I can't I will be devistated just like if Tyler left me for someone else.
3. I want to know what is going to happen to me in the future. Like if I will have a areally nice home and things like that. I am going to go go nursing school so I can make something out of my life but sometimes I don't think that it will be enough.
4. Why do I have to look the way I do. I would love to have a nice body that my bf and myself are proud of. Like when he sees a real pretty girl or something ( kellie pickler) I wish that I could look like that but I know that it will never happen. Yeah I am sure that he would love for me to look like that but if you really think about it. She's on frickin tv. Of course she is going to look beautiful. Or like this girl that he works with he thinks that she is so hot and it makes me upset.

I am just rambling on but I have noone really. I have no family up here and i am so attached to my bf thats its not even funny. But I am going to go but I will write back later.

Anyways: