~*~ Pissed off ~*~
I discovered I cannot say the things I want in my own home because someone always takes it personally...
I need to remember he deals with 99.5% of the same mental health issues I do... and my ranting is taken very personally and deeply...
So today, I come here to do just that, so I dont hurt feelings, or cry again... which he runs out of the room when I start crying.... *sighs*
Tonight is my birthday dinner. Yes, my birthday was Monday... yes, I turned 30 years old, and I need not to act like a child...
But my birthday was already ruined by a unhappy unappreciative house guest....
And now, hes backing out of a family dinner because suddenly he doesnt feel well.
Like seriously dude? You knew all week that we were planning this. You knew ALL week that I was actually looking forward to this...
You knew I needed you to come with me... you want to marry me and all, you had to adjust to family gatherings...
I go with you, weather I feel like it or, to your families house...
I dont bitch wine moan complain that I dont want to, or try to back out...
But the one time, I NEED you to go with me... you back out??
Yes, I am pissed off. Yes, I am frusterated. Its not like we have had sex in two long fucking weeks because you were "trying to be considerate of our house guest" and now its because you are "sick".
FFS. I have been crying all damn day. I am getting literally no sleep due to you being sick, and coughing all night...
But yet, Im expected to be the strong one. The one who does everything. I cook, clean, pick up the kid, drop off the kid, all while you work here from home. Its not like you couldnt help a tad... and you do. Unless you are trying to get out of something. Such as this.
Im just irritated... and tired. So fucking tired... when does momma get to rest??? Not to mention trying to find a new job closer to home.... UGH.
Please, do me a favor and say a prayer for sanity and this new possblity of a job to come through. I need this more then anything... |
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