I realize that i very seldom, if ever write about the good days, but i guess i see this diary as a good way to vent, and with that thinking i will continue to write about whats bugging me. The day actually started off very well. We woke up early, went on a small hike(cause thats all i could handle) and thats where it kinda started. Were still exploring this new town we live in, so after our hike we ended up just driving around aimlessly. But really my issues started at the begining of the hike. I'm not in shape, and honestly my husband isn't either, but he is more than me thats for sure. I felt like i was holding him back from the begining. He kept turning around and asking if i was ok, which is awsome of him, he reassured me that we could go back whenever i wanted, but then think about it.... Hiking is his favorite hobby, and if i gave up early on i think(and maybe its just me) he would resent me a little. So we went through all seven bridges, which i thought was the end of the hike, but it wasn't. He was able to say we were done, and we turned back around. But i still have this feeling that i held him back, and it turns out we only went .91 miles up!! Ugh, after that i just think of myself horribly. The length made me see how wimpy i am. I mean it was straight up a mountain, and at an altitude i'm not use to, with a lot of ice i kept slipping down, but all of these are just excuses, i should have been about to do the rest of the hike, it was only 1.5 more miles to where he wanted to go.
Obviously this made me upset, then he comes home and takes a nap... and is very grumpy. Just makes me feel even worse. What did i do? Was it the hike? Or was it that Lance called me. But Lance is just my friend. He's never been anything more, and Brian knows that.
Just feel like all of this is building up at the same time. Yet as the title says, maybe im just home sick. Maybe this all wouldn't bug me if i was in a town i knew, well not as much at least. And if we knew how to communicate better, which is a HUGE part of a marriage.
So here i go, i'm gonna try to talk to him like he's my husband and not my boyfriend, which is gonna take a lot more time than i want it to.
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