I CANT BE ARRSSEEEDD ANYMORE
(not sure where the pirate thing came from)
I ran away from my research methods lecture today. ITS SO FUCKING BORING. Its like maths and a boring old man, and a lecture theater with dodgy air con that makes you cough and sneeze and freeze. And a little bit of algebra, mixed with some extra boring on the side.
But seriously, it was completely over my head. A genuin wtf situation. I just sat there sketching japanese fashion models. *beard?*
I think my decsion is allready known. I think Ive known for a while, but i still cant admit it to myself.
I think of leaving here, learning to drive and having a real job and getting into a real life I feel kind of exited. After all the only two jobs I ever want you barely need GCSE's for anyway. Sod it that my grades at uni so far have been a B+ on an essay and 70% on an exam. I think of staying here and my stomach churns and im like . . . hm.
And i fucking just burnt my dinner to a crisp. Honestly when alice makes this pasta bake it takes like an hour and a half and is still raw. I make it and its frazzled after 40 minutes. WTF?
But, then heres the bit where my little happy bubble is burst and I realize what a giant fuck up everything actually is . . .
If i leave im basically saying that its me and jimmy for life. Thats kinda scary too.
And we really arent doing very well as a couple right now.
We dont tell each other things, and theres so much crap going on in the background. Like arguing over the tiniest things like how many private entries i have on my diary. And my having to break into his diary to find out what he was thinking. Which was more doubts about us as a couple.
Im not saying I have doubts. Im saying we have to pull it together mighty fast or things might not go like we want. |
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