So maybe I shouldn't have done what I did yesterday. But I had to know.
I'd been talking to my dad for a while on msn, and last night he invited me round to look at the pictures from his holiday to the phillipinnes. I thought, why not. Its better than sitting at home wacthing csi and stuffing my fat face with biscuits or whatever, so I got on my bike and I went. Stopping off at tesco to get the alcohol I knew id need later.
I told mum the bag was for college stuff, and the same for dad cos Im not sharing my strongbow with a person that doesnt even want to share his life.
So i sat down, decided to get the lowdown on this bitch of his. I even got a picture of her on my mobile
Apparently she is gorgeous and stunning and beautiful. It was pretty sick, but it didnt affect me as much as I thought. I thought i'd feel anger or sadness, but all i felt was this odd detatchment.
Even when we saw the video of their wonderful two weeks, her hopping on the back of the jetski just like i used to, and with her dark hair she looked a bit like me too.
And even when he was hanging round with her entire familly he never seemed to have a blink of regret in him, but I could tell as he looked at me there was still hate in his eyes. He cant wait to get out of here and go live with his paki bitch.
Showed me the photographs of her enormous 18th birthday, with the massive banner he got made. It was a massive blown up picture of him and her smiling at the camera. They hung it up between the palm trees on the beach they stayed at all night with 60 of her relatives and friends. They had an entire pig spit roasted, and a live band.
Somethings not quite right here
The worst bit by far wasnt even anything like that though, and it wasnt even anything remotely to do with me. It was one little clip on the video when they were in the sea, and he was lurking about in the shadows like he always used to when we were kids and we were playing the sea monster game. And then he comes out with something like
'sea monster's gonna get ya' and this paki bitch squeals like the pig she is, and he laughs and its all so sick it makes you want to die.
And it really hurt, cos I know when my mum and dad were dating she always used to call him 'momster' and he still kept it up despite swapping his familly twice now.
I was there for about an hour and a half, and despite all this lark, i didnt hurry to leave because I didnt want to seem RUDE. I really suck huh.
But as soon as I got out of there (i think the photo's of the gardens and lakeside cabins they plan to get married by really put the last nail in the coffin) I had my strongbow to hand it almost made everything ok. i was wanndering round tiptee for about an hour like a lost ghost, then mum called demanding to know where I was, and eventually I wound my way home. Was glad she either didnt notice or didnt mention the smell of alcohol on me. at least that was one small blessing.
It onkly occured to me this morning, maybe i shouldnt have gone at all. . . . |
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