I've been dreading today since last week, even though its the only time I have a reason to actually leave the house. I had to go back to the job centre (curse it a hundred times)
No ide what to do, no ones ever told me. So after I waited half an hour for the bus, I went and stood there like a gorm for a while before someone came and took pity on me. After all thats what the jobs center's for isnt it? Pitiful people.
So I sit down and she taps away at a computer for a while. I sign a tiny bit of paper but I just wrote my name cos I had no idea what was expected of me. Prolly wont get paid now. She said she was too busy to help me with a job search, and whats the point anyway, since those machines they have are used by the whole world and his dog. Every jobless fucker sees the same line up and hordes down on the employers. What are the chances I'd even get noticed.
So she gives me a scrap of paper with the details of some long lost backwater hotel in the middle of nowhere that has one job going. She said I should apply.
Then I get out and notice that the next bus isnt for another 2 hours. Im freezing and its fucking snowing AGAIN, and student bloody finance have paid me loads of money even though im not at uni. Great, more unavoidable debt.
So I walked, and I walked and I tried not to think about how fucked my life had got. And I carried on walking, counting down the hours until i get to go home again. But I dont really want to be here either. In a few hours my lovely brother will be here lording it up over me. I think his favorite phrases right now are
"GET A JOB"
"You layabout. All you do is sit round the house all day"
"Shes put on weight"
"Go play with your elves" . . . .?????
Thank god he's moved on from the old 'you have no friends' line up. Those ones really got me down. Hey at least he rings the changes right. Today - you're a worthless jobless cockroach. Tommoro who knows eh?
Needless to say, I sat in the park and cried, on and off, until my bus arrived late two hours later. |
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