Just the Beginning.
...but I was stupid and young and believed in fairies and fairytales. I'm neither stupid nor young right now, I've grown up and I've become fed up of trying to change the world, and fed up carrying everything on my shoulder when no one seems to care. So I just threw everything out, including most of my childish dreams and wishes..
You've always been the one in control and I always let you take control, but now I will have my say. And yes I am curious, but I've had enough of playing games and I've had enough of pretending. I've had enough of my childhood dreams, I want to live my life, I don't want to live in a past realm, I want to look forward to enjoying my life, whether its here in a corrupted country or wherever my life will take me. I want to enjoy the moment, whether its shitty or whether its beautiful. I don't want to be weighed down again...
I'm content with where I am right now and I'm content with who I've become. I've come to love the people around me and my boyfriend's support is enough to keep me going. If our lives want to cross paths one day, they will, but other than that I don't want them to. I miss my past and I miss a lot of things, but I can't keep dwelling on it. Its past and it will never be present again, no matter what, I just have to love it the way it is, in the past.
That was just a point in my life.. I want to remember, a point where I was strong, where I had grown up. Where I had chosen what I wanted and where I had spoke my mind. That was my turning point..
If you know me, you'd know that I usually put everything and everybody first, that I'd prefer their happiness over mine.. but I guess there comes a point where you just have to concentrate on yourself and what you need..
My 20th birthday, last Friday was another turning point for me... I realized most of the time the only person to make you happy is yourself, the only person who can take care of you, is yourself...
Update on my birthday... Soon, but I don't have pics, because I spent my birthday doing my Graduation project filming a PSA ad... YAY? Lol.
end.
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