so im going to write about gary a little. get some stuff out.
bella LOVES her daddy. she is daddys lil girl! but he works til either 4 or 5 & when he gets home he either has someone else to go see, xbox to play or neighbors to hang with. its very hard to get solid family time. then whenever i bring it up, it becomes a fight. he goes out more than i do too. shit i only go to the grocery store, my moms, or a dr appt. for bella or me. he goes quad riding, he visits some friends. his life didnt change at all when our daughter came. meanwhile since shes been born i havnt had a decent night sleep in consecutive days. & he has only 2 days off a week. so the nights where hes off the next day & she wakes...i have to ask him to go check on her. and he signs and talks to her all loud. he just complains. but bitches at me if i complain.
it annoys me that hes changed maybe 4 poopy diapers and like 20ish pee ones. hes never bathed her. when he feeds her she never finishes. he doesnt read to her, but he does play with her. hes a good dad. with certain things. he needs help in many other areas. and im falling apart.
like i said, im gonna start seeing a therapist. cause i have sooo much pent up anger. and when we fight i explode! i never explode at my daughter but i do get flustered. and ik its cuz im overwhelmed and under appreciated.
no one ever told me being a mom was rewarding..with the child..just not always with the father.
still i strive on. bellas smart, funny, sweet, loud & amazing. and we both did that.
but bellas fussin...molars coming..ugh. and i have a sore lower back from idk. & when gary gets home we still gotta run to the grocery store. then i gotta make dinner for us. feed me & bella. walk our dogs again. we were gonna start on our garden but its gonna rain by the time we get to that. and all next week. rawr. stupid rain. bella loves bein outside. oh well. love all the time i have with my princess. she changed my life for the better. its just a hard better. ya know?
i hope if any other mommys have this issue with daddys. that they know they are not alone. and as long as we focus on the kids, the dad situation could work itself out.
stay sweet
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