A true deadbeat father. (Rant)

02/03/2011

This is an entry of ranting. So bear with me.
Anyone who has read previous entries knows that I have a beautiful 3 and a half year old son named Trystan. I am not with his father (Doug), and haven't been since Trystan was just over 6 months old. The reasons why we aren't together will come in a future entry that I plan to write eventually.
Well, tonight I was talking to Doug through text after Trystan was in bed. Doug recently started going to an adult college for a home inspection course. I've been nothing but supportive of him, because he is FINALLY doing something with his life. At almost 28 years old, I see that as a step in the right direction. Doug informed me that he had received his OSAP money, which for those who don't know, is a payment issued to college/university students to help pay for school books, etc. This money totaled to about $3000.
In previous months, we had discussed the possibility of some of this money coming to me as child support for Trystan, since Doug has never paid a single cent toward that in the past. After finding out he had finally gotten this money, he informed me that the money was given to his mother, and used on rent.
Okay, so that's not so bad. But $3000? Come on. It wouldn't have killed them to throw me a couple hundred to help out.
Well, we got into a huge fight over it because he originally told me that his mother was using the money on a trip she planned to go on to Cuba. He then called me and corrected himself telling me it was all used on rent. Either way, it pissed me off because once again, Trystan loses out. He started yelling in my ear, and so as a result, I hung up on him.
I then texted him, expressing my opinion on the matter, and his lack of responsibility toward Trystan.
Here's how the conversation went:
Me: First of all, I hung up because you were screaming in my ear. I don't respond to yelling and you know that. Secondly, I know you're going to school to give Trystan a proper future, but that's not helping him NOW. You don't even go to school for a full day. You could get a part time job to help me support him and you won't. I don't think you understand just how hard it is to raise a child with very little. If you ask me, you have it pretty easy. You say you wanna help with Trystan as much as possible, but you bitch when FRO (they're in charge of collecting child support payments) takes your GST. That doesn't make you look good at all. And when he needs diapers or something else, 99% of the time, you tell me you can't help. Frankly, I'm getting very frustrated and tired of hearing you can't do anything to help me. Things need to start changing. Because I'm getting sick of this shit. Seeing Trystan once in a while doesn't put food in his stomach or clothes on his back. I won't keep doing this Doug. And I mean it. I want you to be a part of Trystan's life, but not if this is going to keep happening. So you decide what's important. Start supporting your son somehow. Because I'm done with the constant excuses.
Doug: Do what you want. I'm trying. There's nothing else I can do. So either stop bitching, or fuck off. It's your choice.
Me: You're not trying hard enough if you can't give me a lousy hundred bucks a month for him. I'm not bitching. I'm making a valid argument and you know it. So don't even play that card with me. Anyone else in my position would say the same thing. What's stopping you from getting a part time job? And don't use school as an excuse, because even teenagers go to school and have a part time job after school. You obviously don't get how hard it is to support a child with only so much a month. And with the way you keep acting when I bring it up, that just shows me you don't understand at all. Cuz you're not in that position. I have every right to be frustrated and mad about this.
Doug: So be frustrated and mad. Just leave me the fuck alone when you are. Your ranting isn't gonna change a fucking thing.
Me: Then I guess I have no choice but to keep you from seeing Trystan until you grow up and start acting like an adult, and a father to your son. And when your family asks why Trystan isn't around anymore, you can explain to them that the reason is you refuse to find a way to support him and that I'm fed up with it. Don't call me until you change your attitude. Because I won't answer.
The conversation continues, but this was the part that annoyed me the most.
See, the way he sees it, he thinks that because he's going to school now, he's gonna get this "amazing" job he's gonna magically find as a home inspector, and start saving up some kind of college fund for Trystan and make sure he has what he needs in the future.
Well, HOW is that helping our son NOW? Like, seriously. Where is the logic in any of that? Again, this guy is almost 28 years old. I'm 25, and obviously a little more mature than he is. I may not be in school, or working myself, but I have a valid reason for that. He doesn't. He's just lazy.
Oh, and when he first started going to school, he told me himself that at least this way, FRO couldn't take money from him.
WTF IS THAT?
So, to make sure I got my point across to him 100%, I posted this as my status on Facebook. Because I knew he'd see it.
Krystle Melissa: ‎ I love how some guys think that just because they see their kid once in a while, that makes them a good father. How wrong you really are. Hopefully one of these days you'll see things differently and actually do something to benefit and help support your son NOW, instead of later when it's too late and he's close to being an adult himself. ♥ Trystan ♥
Of course, I know he's read it, because he took me off his Facebook list.
What an idiot.
I don't know what to do anymore. This guy is just way too much. I don't want to keep Trystan from seeing his father, but what else can I do to get through to him that he is being extremely irresponsible and stupid about this whole thing?
Ahhh. Okay, I'm done my rant now. LoL.
I'll update again soon.
Ciao!

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