Today is what I would call a blah kind of day. When I woke up this morning, it was almost as if I had woken up in the middle of World War 3. Vibes in the air were all out of whack, and no where close to what I know as being normal.
My son's father and I have been friends for about 8 years now. And in the time that we have known each other, we have been through a lot. In all honesty, Doug was my first love. And to this day, I still love him very much. Unfortunately things didn't work out between us, but we have remained very good friends despite it all.
Friday afternoon, I was informed that his parents are getting seperated. Now, Trystan's father will be 28 this year. His parents have been happily married for 34 years. But for some reason, all of a sudden that happiness is no longer existant. I have always looked at his family as my second family. The ones I go to when I need someone to talk to. But now, it's all changed. And it's effecting everyone in such a harsh way. Doug seems to be taking this the hardest. Even at almost 28 years old, he is having a hard time understanding why his parents no longer can stand to be in the same room together. He wonders why things have to change...why they can't just stay the same. Witnessing this, I feel for him. I've never personally been through anything like that, as my mother raised both my brother and I on her own. I never knew my father.
Anyway, I went over to their place yesterday to spend the night and allow Doug to spend some time with Trystan. I knew that with everything that's been going on, he probably needed to be around someone positive. The day went well, with no real problems. Waking up this morning, it was like I didn't even know the people who were around me. This wasn't the family I have grown to love and respect. People were at each others throats, yelling and hollering for any reason they deemed suitable. I didn't know what to do. Ultimately, I knew that having my 3 year old son in that kind of environment would be harmful to him, because he wouldn't understand what was going on. Trystan's a fairly happy go lucky kid, who doesn't let very much bother him. But regardless of that fact, I knew that he was probably wondering in that little head of his why grandma and grandpa weren't getting along, and why his father and uncle were arguing. As a result of this, I ended up packing up early and leaving with Trystan in tow. Doug repeatedly apologized for the things that had gone on with us there, and I reassured him that it was okay, and that he can't control everything his parents do.
Upon returning home, I felt uneasy. My stomach hurt, and I couldn't help but feel confused. At 25, even I don't understand how things can change so quickly. How certain situations can cause such a horrible chain reaction among people who, just a week ago, were happy and had no care in the world. I have spent the day asking myself over and over how I couldn't have seen this coming. Because although it's not biologically my family, it's still causing me to hurt. I want to be there for them, but what can I really do? I'm only one person, and if anyone knows anything about having a dysfunctional family life, it would be me.
I'm really at a loss as to what to do in this situation. I feel like I can't just stand back and watch it all take place. I care about these people. They've been a part of my life for years.
Whoever said that change is good, really must have been smoking some seriously strong drugs.
*sigh*
***Below is a picture of Trystan and Doug that was taken 2 days after Christmas. I don't know why I'm posting it, but I am.***
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