My body feels like a tomb.

I can not say how utterly and completely heartbroken I am. All I can bring myself to say is that I had an ectopic pregnancy. Nothing could be done. Devastation fills me to the core, I don't think I've ever experienced this type of sadness. Plus, Topher is in jail. I went from having a family one day to the complete lack of one the next. I don't give a mother fucking shit if everything happens for a reason, I did not deserve this. Maybe one day I will have another diary similar... Maybe not. It hurts too much to revisit this other than to explain this fucking harsh reality.