dont know what to do anymore

01/01/2012

Well i think i got my answer about if my hubby is going to cheat again. This is what he sent in a text to me: "Thats fine i am sick of begging for it from you anyways ik and sure if i wanted it that bad i can ask someone else" Thats just fucking lovely. I have never cheated the 7 years and 8 months we have been together. I know i have my problems... that i can be bitchy and have no sex drive. He has told me that i am a lousy wife and that i am worthless. It makes me feel so much better when i am told that! I get blamed for shit that i didnt even do. I just don't know what to do anymore. I love him to death. I hate all the fighting. I wanna be happy. He was asking on facebook about what he should do. He came out and said that he doesn't desire me anymore. It breaks my heart that he feels this way. I cant really change becuz there isn't a magical drug that will help me with my sex drive. I am suppose to be taking my lexapro meds but I haven't and that just makes it a hundred times worse. I have told him over and over again that I love and want him but I don't want sex. I only get urges like once or twice a month as it is. I really do like sex. I think one of my problem is that I have never had an orgasm (even on my own I haven't had one) it just hurts when I get too close. But whatever I just need to go to sleep! I have gained a lot of weight since we first met. He wants us to go back to that. I told him we cant cuz of trust issues, responsibility for son, and body issues.