I have never felt as close to leaving as I did last night.
We had people over for the game; beer, food, and a smattering of football. By the time the home-team lost and everyone left he was completely and utterly obliterated. He decided that he wanted a cigarette, which wasn't a surprise, seeing how drunk he was.. We quit smoking over a year ago. He realized that driving was not an option, luckily, and decided walking a mile and a half to get a tobacco fix made sense. He put shoes on and grabbed his wallet, and with beer in hand attempted to leave. I reminded him that he was drunk and was not taking a bottle of beer with him on the street.. He got mad. He went in the kitchen and chugged a bit of the beer then dropped it.. it shattered. We both started to clean it up as he screamed at me about 'making' him drop the beer bottle and 'controlling' his life. He cut himself on the glass, and then decided that it was my fault he was bleeding as well. When the mess was dealt with he went the refrigerator and pulled out another beer, citing, 'You can't tell me what I can't do!!' ... He walked out the front door and opened it, I yelled, and grabbed the neck of the beer bottle. He wouldn't give it up.. He threw me a few expletives, I slapped him in the face, which made him give me the bottle.. I slammed the front door to him calling me a 'cunt'.
We've been together for nearly 6 years. We own a home together, and have a dog. All of our friends think we have a perfect relationship. He's irresponsible, obviously proven by his idea to flaunt his drunken state on a public street while he already has a alcohol related arrest on his record. My head's screwed up... I'm depressed, withdrawn, and all I want to do lately is read to try and escape. I don't want to start over again.. I can't bear the idea of him with someone else, but I'm not attracted to him right now... how can I be when my head's not here? |
Loading...
