Will I carry it forever?

No, I believe everyone is to be forgiven. But comparing someone who steals, and someone who drinks to someone who has committed a sexual act of violence to someone else is not really the same. I believe that someone can change, but I still believe that someone who has committed such a heinous crime should be labeled so the innocent people in the world can try to protect themselves and their children. Someone who kills, rapes a child, or commits violence against a woman to have sexual gratification out of them may the Lord have mercy on them, because I'm not. However, I will forgive them. But in my eyes, as a victim of sexual abuse myself at the hands of two of my male family members, they should NEVER be trusted again.

I believe there's a reason that people can repent their sins. Just like anything else, God will forgive you for this. If He can forgive you, everyone else should be able to as well.

♥

[Jessica|0 likes] [|reply]

don't have an answer for this. unfortunately society will place that stigma onto you...but you don't have to let it define who you are. you don't have to succumb to the negative that is associated with it. the important thing is to reconcile with yourself and with God. everyone else, doesn't so much matter in the grand scheme of things. ((hugs))
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BrownEyedMonkey

No, what I meant by saying I would forgive them but not have mercy on them means that I believe that I have to forgive all others for their sins, or I will not be forgiven. But I am not responsible for forgiving anyone besides the ones that have wronged me. That's left up to God. I would not have mercy on them though I had forgiven them means that I believe whatever punishment they get for their crime (going to jail, being labeled a sex offender the rest of their life) they deserve and I will not feel sorry for them having to go through that.

It's hard to convince people that you've changed. A whole lot of prisoners become Christians while they are in prison and then turn back to their ways once they are out. My grandfather being one of those examples, he was in and out of prison all my life (for running a chop-shop, assault, etc) , and he was the only man I had as a father-figure, when he came back the last time when I was about 14. He said he had changed for good, but on my 16th birthday he sexually abused me. I'm not saying that you will. But right now, it's easy to be a Christian and not mess up while you are in prison, because you really don't have the choice. But once you get back out into the world will be your real test. I hope you do continue on the path of righteousness and you continue to learn from you mistake and never ever do anything like that to anyone else. And I hope your victim continues to heal, as a victim myself I know those scars will always be there, but time, love, and support can help.

Also, I wanted to ask you this. What do you think made you victimize someone else like that, having been through sexually abuse yourself? I am curious about this, because going through what I went through at 12 & 16 makes me even more aware of how I treat others. What made you go from being the victim to the abuser?

And also I wanted to add in, when everything came out about what my grandfather did to me, he admitted to everyone that he had been abused as a child too. It makes me wonder if that is just something someone says once they get caught so people will give them sympathy or if there is a real connection between the two. I, myself can't understand it because being sexually abused had the opposite affect on me. I didn't want anyone to touch me, and I would always be looking out for my brothers and sisters. I even feel weird with a man holding my 2 yr old daughter, even though I know nothing is going on. It makes me feel uncomfortable. So I don't understand, how being abused, eventually led up to abusing someone else.