dayz and confuse?

01/01/2011

today is a sad day. my brother, who is my light, him and my sister both.. is now sitting in the ER, getting drug tests, blood work, evaluations, etc to go to a hospital. last night he was arrested, had weed, pills [one more and it would have been considered trafficing] and blew a .4 or something, i dont know. hes 17 and just got off probation. my step dad found his vehicle abandoned on the side of the road last night on the way home from his own wedding and they looked for him but couldnt find him.. they called the sheriffs department and he was there. he was threatening to kill himself.. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- that was then.. this is now. ^^ that happened on july 16th, right after the wedding was over. my stepdads. so.. now hes saying hes gonna do jail time and that he cant do probation cuz he cant not get high for two years. =[ oh yeah... im gonna add here that im not saying what all he was charged with but its a number of things and its bad and hes 17, like i said, and has already had probation once... -------------------------------------------------------------- so... today is one day before i get my check that will be spent as soon as i get the shit. god. so scared about this month. i have radical bills to pay and the rent and i need to get my hair done really bad but i dont know if i can afford it. my roots are showing. and when your blonde and your brown roots are showing.. its ugly. i dont want to be ugly lol anyway.. today we could possibly be going on an adventure of sorts. a trip that will take a while, so pick up a mandolin bass? its like this wierd long necked mandolin that i dont even know if its functioning at this point, my sweetheart keeps saying its for viewing purposes and such.. which, if it is and it doesnt work, how much hes giving for it is ridiculous to me.. but, he gets money and it burns a hole in his pocket and never ever does he spend money on me. ive spent way more money on him than he has me. i feel like he hates me. well im bored so ill shut up now. ^_^