I Don't Feel Safe

I'm not even sure where to start. I had set up my tent in the back yard because I wanted to sleep outside and then Kevin came in and said that I couldn't do that because there are so many drug addicts and three rapists that live down the road. Ya know, that would have been great to know before I got here! So I'm already upset because my camping plans got shot down. Then some guy comes knocking on the door and Kevin goes to look out the window to see who it is. "Oh it's just drunk Mike." And he blew it off and walked into the kitchen to do something. Now I know drunk people, and their mannerisms, this was not really following what I knew. His knocks while, yes, loud and obnoxious were not timely enough for me. So of course I went and opened the door. In comes stumbling Mike. His head was down and he was grabbing his ribs. I really just thought he was drunk and had fallen until he got past me and I could see his back. There were scrapes and cuts and blood was everywhere! It looked like someone had dragged him up and down the road...which ended up being the case. We made him sit down and we called the police and I went and got my first aid kit which is now empty!! So sad...anyway, I put on my gloves and got out some alcohol swabs and I was getting ready to clean him up when I noticed that there was footprint on his back. I guess it was a shoe print. It was the right foot and the right side of the shoe...the outer side. I got scared! I was like OMFG!!! He's been jumped! Kevin just stared at me.

This is my first jump case. I've never seen anyone get jumped or even known about anyone being jumped. Now i've seen it first hand and it scared the shit out of me. We took him outside so he could smoke his cigarette and I could look more at his back. To my surprise there were multiple shoe prints on his back. I've never been more scared than this in my life. I'm scared to even walk outside at night for fear. It's apparently known that since we helped him that we're now the bad guys. Well like me or hate me, it's bull crap that there has to be several people to take on one drunk man! That should be attempted murder or something. If anyone's the bad guy it should be those other people. But back to my story. So we called the police and we're sitting outside and how convenient it was that Mike's gf and all her kids came walking up the road just minutes later! His gf's name is Angie and to be honest I don't like her. There is just something sketchy about her and it bothers me. And I have every right to be this way because if I feel for my life I have no problem going around stabbing people! And then after Angie comes walking up not 30 seconds later a group of boys, maybe 5 or 6, come walking up from the same area. Now I don't everyone here and there's a reason why I don't give a shit about knowing people [[because they do this!]]. I think I only knew one of them and I'm not too fond of him anyway so it's not like it's a big loss to me if I never see him again. I just couldn't believe that they didn't have the decency to just walk away. They all had to jump this guy and drag him down the road and kick him and step on him and probably other stuff. It just makes me sick and I swear if I find out who did it I will call the police and let them know. Let those white trash scum bugs [[excuse my language]] hate me and call me a snitch or whatever. I don't care! They deserve to be in jail!

Onto today! Kevin and I had a huge fight today. I don't really even know why it set me off the way it did, but it did. All he did was put on some cologne and I flipped! Don't ask me why. He asked why I was being a bitch which I'm sure set me spiraling down and I walked away but he kept following me and asking and all that. So went into the room and slammed the door to which he kicked down...literally. There is now a door lying in the middle of our room. Well that pissed me off. I was already crying and frustrated and I just wanted to be left alone so I could have my temper tantrum but no, there he was...like an annoying little fly. And he went off yelling and cussing and saying shit. So I said that I wished I had never moved here and at the time it was true. I would much rather be living at home in a safe environment. So I'm balling sitting on the bed and he says that he wished that I had stayed back in Texas and that I had aborted the baby. I was so upset. I couldn't believe he had said that. He started to walk out of the room and I suddenly felt to need to break something and throw things so I did. I threw his clothes out of the closet and I started to pack my things so he went and started unpacking so I picked up the piggy bank which sad to say is no longer with us....in fact little pieces of it are still chilling on the bedroom floor. I didn't care...I was mad. Besides, I wanted a piggy bank that I could paint for the baby. Oh and somewhere mixed in there we actually got physical and started hitting and I broke his nose. I was pretty proud of myself. I used my palm but I went down but only because he wouldn't let me get enough leverage to go up and really break it! Oh well. I got my point across. He told me later that when we fight like this that he never fears for his life he only fears for the things I'm going to throw and where they will land.

It felt great to get out that anger though. Better I take it out on him than someone random. He can take it. He said that he didn't have anything to worry about when it comes to me taking care of myself because I'm so reckless, that I could be deadly to the wrong person.= but that somehow I never manage to hurt myself.