I hate my life

I want a divorce. Dead serious. I'm doing everything a single mom would do so why not just do it? It's not like I get any help from him anyway. I kept her up all day yesterday except for the 3 hours total that she maybe had to nap. And then she was up all night spitting up. He fed her once at 11:30 and then said "Here. I have work in the morning." I was like you shit head. And it's like that every day! I'm sick of it. I took her for her first day out on the town yesterday. We went out to lunch and then to Kmart and Walmart. I had her all bundled up and of course people were like oh she's so cute, how old is she, you know...all that jazz. I was actually kind of shocked that no one really got in her face or touched her. Well Kevin found out and was like "If she gets sick, I want the names of everyone who touched her." I was like seriously? You of all people have more germs on you than any one of those people to looked at her! Especially since he comes in and gives her a kiss before he washes his hands or anything so anyone that he's been in contact with, he's giving her their germs! He's an idiot. I really wanted to slap him last night. But I didn't. I grabbed my pillows, the baby, and we snuggled on the carpet in her room. And last night I started a load of laundry, our clothes, her clothes, and some blankets. Well I had left a blanket in the dryer this morning (whoa my bad!) and he texts me about a half hour ago to say that he doesn't care how important anything is but we're not wasting power for very small stuff. So I called him an asshole. My mom and little sister came into town for a couple days. I thought it was going to be way better than it was. I knew she wasn't going to be happy about the living situation but damn she didn't have to be a bitch about it! Granted, it's a trailer but it's one of the nicer ones out here. She spent the whole two days cleaning it and bitching about how she raised me better than this. Seriously?! I have a newborn, going to school full time, and working full time, and she's going to sit there and criticize me?! I got us out of that drug infested shit hole and into our own place. I almost told her to go home yesterday. I can't handle it anymore. And she hates Kevin, which I already knew but she made it VERY clear while she was here. It just upsets me. Why does she have any right to walk into MY home and act like that? I don't do it in her house. And she has no room to talk! She grew up way worse than this. And between her and Kevin, I was getting mad at Brooklyn because she wasn't feeling well and I couldn't make her feel better. I think I might be getting a late onset of the baby blues or maybe I'm just super stressed. I've been crying for the past 3 days and I really don't have a reason other than I know I could be getting way more help around the house and I'm not which takes me back to the single parent issue. I'm honestly thinking about opening another bank account and taking out some money from my checks to stash away so I can file for divorce and then move back to Texas with little miss. I hate my life right now. I wish I could go back and change some things. I guess it's good that I can't though. It gives me another story to tell little miss so maybe she won't make mommy's same mistake.

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